Jan 26, 2003
Today is my country's Republic Day. I chide myself for not being excited by that fact any more. About 6 to 8 years ago, I would find some way of commemorating this event, like making my own paper flag to fly on our balcony, or singing alto, contralto, bass and all that at the ceremonial flag hoisting even without the customary sweet. I would write these passionate essays about the definiton of Indianness and consider Indian sporting achievements to be the best days of my short life. But somewhere, somehow, I've experienced a loss of that feeling. I'm not sure if it is anything to do with the fact that most of my opinions and views now center around how an event or occurence affects specific individuals and not caring how the statistical picture of the effect on the populace. Like statements like "my city is a safe place", which does not guarantee the fact that I will not be robbed tomorrow: it is a statistic that enjoys the curse of probability. The idea of a nation which ought to be a mental projection hemmed by physical boundaries has somehow eased out from my psyche. I don't know how it will come back, but I've not really suffered by being an Indian yet, and this is the only country I know, so I will continue to hope that my own feeling of Indianness (which is not as strong right now as it used to be, which is different from being an India-basher) will gain a new strength, hopefully aided by all those events that soothsayers have been predicting for us in all the year-end astrological columns.
at 8:04 PM