Faux News - 13
Ektaa Kapooor wins Bhaarat Ratnna; Rakhii cries foully
Jan 15, 2008, New Delhi
Ektaa Kapooor, producer of TV serials, has awarded the Bhaarat Ratnna. She will receive the nation's highest honour at the hands of the President in a ceremony on Republic Day this year. Kapooor won the award beating off stiff competition from stalwarts such as former Prime Minister Atall Behaari Vaajpeyyii, other politicians Jyotii Baasu and Kaanshii Ram, cricketers Sachin Tendulkkar and M.S.Dhonii and a whole host of TV personalities.
The choice of Ektaa came as a surprise to many as Kapooor was a late wildcard entrant to the race. The strong support for the producer in the specially constituted electoral college was not evident earlier. The members of the college, who voted via SMS, seemed inclined towards Tendulkkar. However, the latter's involvement in the monkey-kaand put off some voters who wanted a less controversial choice this time. Rumour has it that the results were tied and that President Patil, an old fan of Kapooor's serials, put the casting vote in her favour. Rashtrapati Bhavan refused to comment on this, but the fact that all Presidential receptions strictly end before 8 pm tells a tale in itself.
Predictably, the likes of Rakhii Sawannt have complained against this choice. Rakhii said: "meraa tiikaa to usse achchaa thaa." Balaji Telefilms, in a press release today, congratulated its founder on the award, stating it to be a victory for all womenhood of the nation and just recognition for one who has brought entertainment, empowerment, and liberation from tyranny to half the country. To celebrate, the production house has announced that it will postpone the deaths of three of its oldest characters by another year, and will double the weekly break-time of its actors to 10 minutes.