Next BC Open Quiz

The Boat Club Quiz Club, Pune is organising two quizzes on Sunday, July 1, 2007. The morning quiz is for schools, while the afternoon quiz is open to all. Entry is free. Both are general quizzes. All the details are available at this link.

Periya pepper-o-nii?

This is a true story.

I am sitting at home when the phone (yes, the honeycomb phone) rings deep somewhere. Never a good sign.

After a hunt decidedly not as cool (am I turning into "Sivaji"?) as Brad Pitt in Seven - but then I haven't had my head broken by (let's keep this spacee blank, shall we? wink wink), I locate the buzzing instrument. The questioning greeting that is the modern "Hello?" emerges.

"Is this J. Ramanand?". Yes, it is. Pray proceed.

"I'd like to order a pizza please".

I think I was entitled to the short-to-medium pause that followed.

"Ok, now, this is a prank, isn't it?"

A pause, matching the earlier one in its intensity.

This is 9xxxx xxxxx, is it not? And J. Ramanand?. Yes indeed. Go on, tell us your story.

I found this number. From Google. Is this not Domino's Pizza?

I am busy leafing through my list of known habitual jokesters, and none of them. Only nervous laughter wins. "No, someone's played a prank on one of us" (is that the best you can do? Scratch "courage under pressure" off the resumé.).

I'm very sorry, came an apologetic tone.

I think and I think and I think who could have pulled this one off. And then I smash the palm against the head. Scratching the chin with Occam's Razor helped. Look at this as a sample. That site is full of such stuff.

P.S.: I did try several combinations of keywords and some of them did put the site(s) in the top 20 results. But how dumb would you have to be to call any random number on a page of search results?

Silk and Steel

David Gower, a distinguished member of that almost-golden generation of English cricket which provided us with some of the most newsworthy and whiskers-championing players in a long time, writes in fond tribute to Sir Ian.

In style and temperament, the easygoing Gower was the rambunctious Botham's polar opposite, except perhaps in cocking a snook at the establishment. They also remain among the top choices for voices you'd like to hear in commentary during a Test match: perhaps we should have an English ex-player commentary-coach for those who haunt us from the heights of the box in India.

Show and Tell

Show and Tell

1. The History Channel promotes a programme called "History of Rock" using a very clever version of Stairway To Heaven arranged as a Hindu devotional. Very nice. (Couldn't find online.)

2. The Heartthrob of Human Resources has an animated promotional for the upcoming filmic-ode-to-Jumaniijii featuring himself. It's quite hilarious to watch, what with "HR 2" over-compensating for the original's moroseness in the smiles-department.

3. Read the comments on this page about CV-inflation confessions. Very funny.

Sivaji for President?

I haven't followed the news since last evening, so in the morning, I look at my complimentary copy of Mid-Day. The front page has a feature on how Rajnikant used treatments to go "fair" for a song. I almost miss what is for me the biggest news of the day: Pratibha Patil's surpising entry into the Presidential race. But then imbalance is restored with a story about Rakhi Sawant, alleged Rajnikant fan.

The "news" channels are predictably tripping over themselves to cover the big buzz of the day. There are correspondents in multiplexes as far as Gurgaon. Improbably though, the NDTV man covering the representative Chennai multiplex is called Thapar Thapa (which is like sending someone called Chokkalingam to cover the ritual sacrifices of the tribes of Papua New Guinea). Clearly not a local, he calls the movie "The Sivaji" and says the number of prints clearly shows the "magnanimity" of the scale of distribution. Sigh.

The problem here is that none of these Ground Hero reports tells us anything useful. Now, I am as curious as some half a billion others to know how the film has turned out, but this coverage is as illuminating as a few simians typing away at word-processors in Wingdings. The only salvage of the morning: a snap interview of Rajnikant at the airport, declining to be compared to Amitabh B ("he's the Emperor, I'm the King, if at all I am one") - remember that an Amitabh film is also releasing today - and refusing to get into the "when politics" question, which was summarised by the piece-to-camera as "Rajnikant talking about his political ambitions" or some such.

In the midst of all this, I desperately want to know more about the lady most likely to be the first woman President of India (take that USA and France! ;-)). But no. I guess we get the news we deserve, or at any rate, we get the news someone thinks we deserve. Is it possible for a channel to take a deep breath and say, right, all this hoopla is fine, so give the Tamil flick a 5 min report, but let's get back to more important things, shall we? Or perhaps, those of us unpaid unemployed who sit in front of the TV on a Friday morning are indeed interested overwhelmingly in movies and not politics. Stick the Prez in the evening, the real men and women will be back by then.

Finally, the Shiv Sena gets the last word. When contacted on their stance on recent developments regarding Marathi pride, a spokesperson said: "We fully support it. This is a matter of the pratibhaa of the maraaThii maaNus.". He said that Shiv Sainiks have been told to go out there and fill the multiplexes and chant Jai Shivaji each time Rao-saheb twirls a ciggy (just menthol, don't worry Mr. Ramadoss). On Pratibha Patil however he simply said: "kaay?".

Ok, I did make that up. But it's getting harder to tell.

WoodEd poetry

An exercise in blanket-verse; can be set to tune as required.

Don't be inadequate anymore

Daily news
Try and see if you like it
Help is on the way
Still upset?
Tell me more
yanyone
[Chorus: Don't be inadequate anymore...]

Timing, perfect
You asked for it
Remember to tell me later
Share this with them all
Hope she is the one!
Finally found this here
[Chorus: Don't be inadequate anymore...]

Can you imagine you are healthy? :-)
Thank you again!
He simply looked bored :-(
Hey buddy!
Everything kool?
Morning... :-(
[Chorus: Don't be inadequate anymore...]

If you'd like to know more about how this poem was created:

Okay, I write bad poetry, but don't blame the above on me. I just went through about 50 emails in my Spam folder, and picked out 18 subject lines from them. I didn't even mess around with the ordering or spelling - honest. All I did was break it up, and add some punctuation. This is one-pass poetry at its finest - it's wonderful how coherent it all is. Works great as a pastime. Give it a shot.

Other relevant bits from my 'collection'.

The pressures of being a 'S(h)ivaji'

The pressures of being a 'S(h)ivaji'

Many movie-watchers, especially outside Tamil Nadu, sneeringly say that no Rajnikanth movie ever really flops - the fans make sure of that. To an extent this is true - the "initials" are so immense that even Yash Raj may permit their golden jaws to unclench in awe for a moment. However, what we don't realise is the colossal pressure that the crew of a Rajnikanth movie must be under.

Perhaps the closest sense-making analogy is of the legendary pressure in Pascals that Sachin Tendulkar was said to have played under in the previous decade. The men behind the next Superstar movie have to first match and then exceed expectations. The poor performance of Baba threw a hurricane of flak down the doorstep of even the likes of A.R.Rahman; what's more, a dent in Rajnikanth's own powers had been made - it was felt his personal leanings towards spiritual subjects have unnecessary interfered with the image that his fans claim as their own.

But now that is all gatam, gatam. With Chandramukhi having set the stalls afire, all doubts were vanquished. Tomorrow, the collective efforts of Shankar, AVM, A.R.Rahman, a host of lyricists, actors, and finally the man himself in his 100th Tamil film, will be on display for a teething mass of salivating addicts. So let us remember the little things that they've got to improve upon, the Rajni records and trivia: the new Rajni moves, the "punch dialogues", the intro-song, the beats, the comic timing, the moments when gravity is sent on a paid vacation, the hairdos. This is a tough act to follow.

And if you haven't seen the killer move at the end of this trailer, you can click here, sit back and enjoy the fun.

You and quizzing

Do you like going to quizzes but are diffident about participating because you don't know how well you'd do? Do you think you'd like to quiz, but are not sure what to expect? Did you try quizzing but had a boring time at all the quizzes you went to? If so, we'd like your feedback here (it is a somewhat long post).

The RecoGraph

I am a compulsive list-maker (of movies I've seen, books I've read, people I've known at certain places). In recent times, I've graduated to collecting more and more data about myself. Of particular interest right now is recording how I am led to books, music, or films based on the recommendations of others (however, still in the realm of dream-ware)

Some recommendations turn out to be more precious than others, lending greater worth to the recommender. Recommenders can be people one knows, newspaper columns and TV programmes, blogs etc. A graph of recommended elements and people who pointed to them could be built. I don't know if anything useful will come out of this, but it just sounds like something interesting to know.

While on the subject, I wonder if secretly, I want to become like Gordon Bell. The data collection is the most painful bit.

Feeling high

You arrive in front of the lift. There is no one else nearby. By application of the little brain bestowed upon you in a rare combination of natural benevolence and your ancestral genes, you infer that to proceed to a floor above, you need to summon the elevator by pressing a simple button. It glows in acquiescence.

But very soon, your solitude is rendered null and void. You are in the midst of "someone". "Someone" pauses, and then proceeds to jab the shining lift's button. If they didn't have their back to you, they'd have noticed your face was replaced by a question mark.

If you were so inclined, you would wonder: how insignificant you are, that this person took one miniscule look at you, and in that fading moment, decided that no mechanical pulley-system was going to obey your microbial commands, and that it would be best for all of you that they showed the elevator who was boss.

But no, you wouldn't think like that. You are too 'normal' for that.

Red Faces and Acquisitions

Interesting developments in cricket today. First, Graham Ford does the smart thing and turns down the India coaching job. Smart, given his current job profile and that his employers love him so much, his family condition, and the lurking turmoil under the sheets in India. So does this mean John Emburey becomes coach by default - a real twist for those (read Sunil Gavaskar and co.) who apparently didn't want the job to fall to Ford uncontested. Do they swallow pride and confess that Emburey was hardly the best man for the job, given his pretty poor coaching record, and this was just a political move; or do they continue living in dreamland? Perhaps it'll be an Indian coach after all - what fun!

In equally interesting news, ESPN acquires Cricinfo. Have to wait and watch to see how this affects the site. For one, most of the images are owned by Getty Images. Will that change when they move to ESPN? Perhaps the images will be sold along with the property.

Oh, and Chanderpaul continues to script another twist in the infuriatingly unpredictable story that is West Indies cricket.

Victoria no. 203 - a singleton object?

Victoria no. 203 - a singleton object?

Strolling past many Victorias yesterday, I noticed something that made my trivia-overdosed heart beat rapidly: a Victoria with the number 203. What the...!

When scepticism returned to her little seat in the cranium, I wondered: are there many such Victorias exploiting the number? (and we haven't yet hit the remake). Or did I see the only Victoria no. 203 doing the rounds? Can someone switch the lights on this matter?

I need protection. Jai Maharashtra.

I need protection. Jai Maharashtra.

A*bhi*jit* Pha*nse of the BVS, after an evening out gently informing Internet cafe owners in Bombay reveals that:

... his group was developing a special software that Internet service providers could install to block any message containing certain words and phrases such as "I hate" or "I despise".

Yikes! I'm the owner of a "hate" community too, which is called I Hate Orkut Scraps, which the kind people behind the social networking site have kindly allowed to co-exist with other similarly silly communities owned by other fellow loonies (a quick search reveals over 1000 results for "I hate something" communities). I think my face has an inevitable date with a new kind of beauty regimen consisting of tar and paint.

This kind, anthrophilic face of the Shiv Sena is a revelation. Their crusade to eliminate hate and derision brings tears to my eyes. Eternal Happiness of the Mindless Mind.

Also says the Panda.

Of affairs past

As I never tire of saying, I belong to the TV generation. The TV was my centre of gravity, its centripetal force always sucking me back and suckling my focus. As I heard someone say, if there was a fire, I would first go looking for the TV. If you've seen Raghu "Romeo" protect his set from the rains, you'll know what I mean.

However, some TV serials are best left locked in the nostalgia chest. Releasing them into the open can lead to immense dismay. Especially, when old DD favourites are making their way back. We get teary-eyed at the thought of them, but sometimes when we watch them, the nose crinkles automatically.

Happily, this fate escapes Yeh Jo Hai Zindagi: playing on Star Plus these days, the sitcom that probably was the first to introduce canned laughter to our screens still retains its charm. This Kundan Shah and co. series had some excellent actors like Shafi Inamdar, Swaroop Sampat, Rakesh Bedi, and Vijay Kashyap, not to forget the clever hook of Satish Shah playing a new role in every episode. I don't know how the old Karamchand would have stood up to post-modern scrutiny, but the new visitations of the carrot-chomping sleuth are quite ghastly.

The early days of Star Plus showed us a lot of classic sitcom fare from the US and Britain. The Yes Minister series is airing on The History channel these days, while The Wonder Years and Doogie Howser M.D. appear on Zee Cafe.

While on the subject, read George's evocative post on catching reruns of The Wonder Years on telly.

A list of DD serials from the 80s (link via Salil)

Learning to think like a computer scientist

A recent Language Log post talks about studies that attempt to understand how members of a profession learn to think in ways that helps them effectively practise their work. The focus was of course on the use of language (examples of studies in Law and Medicine are given) in reasoning in the field.

Which books would be the counterparts in computer science? I remember reading a book called Programmers at Work by Susan Lammers (reviewed here), which featured interviews with 19 leading programmers. It was a fairly engaging read, if I can trust my memory. Programming Pearls is a popular classic, where author Jon Bentley patiently explains the process of analysis a problem and deducing a solution, however magical it may first seem.

A broad and useful log of books beyond programming is available at this Computer Science Reading List maintained by John Regehr (link via Tejaswi).

Triple Duet Tuesdae - 2nd serving

Tejaswi pointed out that the computer scientist Udi Manber could be the missing triplet in our Quentin Fedex mash-up. Take a look:

Also: Daemon puts a few faces together.

Indian Jans and the Saving of the Taj

Indian Jans and the Saving of the Taj

Apparently, I'm one of the few million reasons why the Taj Mahal is not going to be one of the New Seven Wonders of the World. The Times of India puts it as follows: "the Taj is slowly slipping out of the reckoning because Indians couldn’t be bothered enough to vote". That's right, blame it on web-connected lazy-arses like me.

The campaign to "unite for the Taj" has made the news in the last couple of weeks, A.R.Rahman has composed a ditty to boost publicity of the event, email campaigns are going out, and inevitably some landed in my inbox. So do I care whether the Shah Jahan paean to romance has a podium finish? - nope, I don't.

How does it matter? The Taj Mahal is easily one of the most visited monuments in the world, and lack of inclusion on some list is hardly going to affect its status as a must-visit. BTW, the compilation of the list has taken 7 years - why should something as simple as such a list take so long and be subject to mass voting? Perhaps they could merely take the average tourist figures for each monument and rank.

Judging by the fact that only 1 out of the previous 7 wonders is still standing, it's probably for the best that the Taj stays out - there's no good coming out one being on a jinxed list as that. The worst ramification of the new 7 Wonders announcement could be a DVD re-release of "Jeans", with Prashant and Mrs. Baby B, showing us around the latest winners. BTW, this is a serious indictment of Indian IT skills: what happened to those scripts that last put us in this Top Ten?

More seriously, the facts that the Taj is rapidly yellowing, industries continue to pollute the Yamuna at the back, and that Mayawati might not be implicated in the Taj corridor case should be doing the rounds. Here, I confess to my guilt: I am one of the many million reasons why the Taj could be slowly slipping out of existence because Indians couldn't be bothered to do anything about it.

P.S.: Why hasn't someone asked us to vote for the Taj so that at least one remnant from the glories of the Hindu past makes it to the top-7?
P.P.S.: A different list at the World Monuments Fund

Now an IT finishing school

NASSCOM chief Kiran Karnik inaugurated an IT finishing school (apparently, the second such in the country) in Bangalore recently. It's not very clear to me what such a school is meant to teach and polish, but it does underline two things: one, the grave situation involving hordes of students seeing IT-stars and a critical lack of good teaching, and two, the increasing uneasiness of IT corporates as to the hiring options before them. If one needs a finishing school to be employable after 4 years of education, then something is wrong, and a waste of resources is happening.

We also continue to be caught in this language-centric rut, which is potentially myopic - we don't seem to encourage our IT workers to be good enough also at the abstract skills; rather, it seems preferable to focus on the immediate needs of churning out code. True, this makes sense if you want to get your product out there as soon as you can help it, but will it necessarily help in the long-run? I fear not. But sadly, we are unable to properly instruct our students even at these language skills.

French finale stays on course

Canas is gone, and we breath a sigh of relief. The only man to have taken out Federer twice this year was vanquished by Davydenko, who has never won a match against the Swiss number one. Please let it stay that way.

The other semi-final, between Nadal and Djokovic, could be a thriller if Djokovic steps up. He's been catching the eyes in the last six months and has been rated to go very high. Stirring stuff is expected.

Morbid Prediction

If you have a product called "Tulsi Dyes", your website may get a lot of hits via search engines this week. Why, you ask?

So then, what's partly common to Dr. Drake Remore and T.V.? (you just realised Tulsi Virani is literally TV, didn't you? Subliminal stuff.)