Mastermind Semi Finals

A retelecast of my MMI semis will air on BBC World at 10:00 pm tonight, with a repeat on Sunday at 10:00 am. Immediately next week will be the finals. All this is subject to there not being another crisis in Iraq or elsewhere in the world, otherwise the Beeb usually cut to breaking news live.

Sweeping generalisations

Talking of Bob Woolmer, in the autobiography I mention, IIRC he says that there are seven kinds of sweep shots in cricket (have I asked this before?). I know atleast four of them: the classical sweep (that ends up behind square of midwicket but not too fine, and is usually not played too much in the air), the reverse sweep (where a batsman turns his bat to play it on the offside, usually through the slips and towards third man). The other two are the paddle sweep (which is played very fine and past the wicketkeeper towards long leg and long stop) and the form that is very much in vogue of late, the slog sweep (that is played in front of square in the midwicket region and is often played in the air).

I wonder what the other three are? I suspect Woolmer, like Warne does sometimes with regards to types of wrist-spinners, may be indulging in hair-splitting technical definitions. Sometimes people do that to keep up an aura of "guru" like knowledge of the sport. I would really like to know if there indeed are anymore.

Was thinking of notable examples of these 4 types. Though classical sweeping is well-practised by the subcontinent players and briefly by the South Africans in their tours here, Graham Gooch's century in the '87 WC semis against India almost entirely consisted of it and hence springs to mind. The reverse sweep is a tricky one. Was reportedly invented by Mushtaq Mohammad, played with great skill by Javed Miandad and of late by Andy Flower, and most notoriously, caused the downfall of Mike Gatting and consequently England in the '87 WC final. Quite ironical that. I guess hardly anyone plays the paddle (or lap shot) better than Sachin Tendulkar and for the slog sweep, I guess Steve Waugh would be the most cited exponent.

My name is Gorky; Maxim Gorky

It's not just Australian psychiatrists that can dish out magic mantras to help international cricket teams. For the last couple of months, I coined one such catch-phrase myself, in hope of improving my mental strength. It says "Embrace Adversity".

I find myself put off by trifling annoyances a great deal and I'm experimenting with whether repeating such home-grown balms can help ease inner friction. I find that most intelligent people are able to figure out the basic things in life themselves, but recalling them and applying them at the appropriate time is what separates them. In short, the phenomenon of Karna's curse.

I'm not much of a self-help-book enthusiast, but I do like to learn from the actual experiences of others, which is why I have a keen interest in reading autobiographies. In turn, I also don't like to throw proverbs and adages around, but let me bend that principle this time to record three (Jewish) proverbs from Bob Woolmer's personal memoirs:

* If you are not for yourself, who will be for you?
* If you are only for yourself, what are you?
* If not now, when?

On the subject of former -pletives and television

If I've said this once, I've said this a hundred times: when I'm swearing, you are more likely to see me next to the Governor or President taking some dutiful oath than hear me voicing an oath of profanity. That is not to say that I have never vented my anguish in n-letter words, but to recognise that I reserve them for the most trying of moments. In fact, in such matters, only Jeeves with his slight twitching of eyebrows when deeply affected may be ahead of me in the Stoicism Olympics.

Which is why people respect the occasion when I do spout the words of cuss-dom, (if I may say so at the risk of the English Language sending her choicest selection my way). I retain the sanctity (or lack of) of the words and have not diluted their full essence. This previous post may stand testimony to this claim.

All this buildup, essentially, to further the record of television-soap bashing that this blog has faithfully engaged in (our motto is Die! tergent). I hereby announce a cash reward of Rs.xxxxxx to the first bahuu who has enough and says something like this:

M-in-L: Daayan! teri yeh majaal? Kya tumhaare maa-baap ne tumhe yahi sikhaaya hai? Thiik se Chicken-a-la-pousse bhi banaana nahi aata? Jaao aur apne bistar pe ronaa shuru karo. tumhe aaj bilkul dessert (Chocolate Mousse, by the way) nahi milegaa!

The traditional template in this situation would call for the D-in-L to clank her chuDiyaa.n in remorse and weep copiously (though carefully, without upsetting the carefully layered rouge and foundation on her rosy cheeks) while seeking the nearest tulsi plant (or amman kovil in case of the Tamil tearjerker) to ask mujhe kyu.n is serial mei.n janam lene par kyu.n majabuur kiyaa?. The challenge is to say in return, something like this on international television, without sacrificing most bahuu-like qualities:

D-in-L: Teri xx kii! Just ***k off, alright?
(followed by sharp turn to right-of-camera into the hall where there is no T.V. like in all self-respecting Indian TV serials).

That's the [Arial|Surf|Henko] challenge. That'll earn them a faithful fan in me. Only then will this blog will cease to foam at the mouth. (That line had a pun. It was intended. Go back and read it).

Of travels in Pune and Swiss cuisine

Last Sunday, three of my classmates (Nikhil, Sandy, Akshay) and me spent an interesting few hours in the morning and afternoon of a typically pleasant day, walking about, riding through the roads of Pune and visiting three places where most of us hadn't been before to. Meeting up traditionally at the COEP Boat Club, we visited the Empress Gardens, the Aga Khan Palace and rounded it off with lunch at the Swiss Cheese Gardens at A.B.C Farms. ******** The Empress Gardens is actually a large Botanical garden, with the usual multitudes of large trees and plants. It's quite well-maintained, despite its size and is a great place for a stroll with friends. I saw my first ever Mahogany tree and a collection of different palms. I don't think I've been in a greenhouse before, and some of them had the most beautiful collection of mottled and striated greens that I've seen. An artificial stream runs through the place, and despite the best efforts of the place, had its share of plastic waste, sadly. Not too many flowering plants though, however the ones present were quite a watch, especially two fully bloomed lotuses that no word less than "gorgeous" would do justice too. Reminding ourselves that we were officially too old to ride the swings and race down the slides, we rode off towards Yervada and Nagar road to the Aga Khan Palace. ******** The Aga Khan Palace would have been just another large mansion that perhaps only the Ismailis would have seen much of had it not been for its most famous occupant, Mohandas Gandhi. The place is a memorial to two of his closest associates, wife Kasturba and secretary Mahadeobhai Desai. Each room on the ground floor housed several names from the Congress in the wake of the Quit India movement. It is a quiet place and has a collection of photographs, personal articles and tableaux from Gandhi's life. Pune or "Poona" as it used to be known was quite a centre of the freedom struggle, if you think of it. It used to be more pronounced in the earlier parts of the movements, with Tilak and Gokhale and Ranade to name a few. Then the leadership of the Congress moved northwards and east along with Bombay. Of course, Poona was inextricably linked with Gandhi's own life - Gokhale, the Servants of India society, imprisonment in Yerwada, the Poona Pact, Kasturba's death, the Quit India movement and the Godses. ******** We went to ABC Farms because we were in a mood to experiment. ABC Farms is a venture that owns dairy farms in addition to a number of restaurants of different kinds. The main choices are Thai, Hyderabadi and Swiss. Some may have heard of the well-known Jazz Garden. As most of us were vegetarians and as all the cuisines except The Swiss Gardens offered more variety in the non-veg section of their menus, we knew we were going to say cheese and more. [Swiss Cheese Gardens Menu]

The website informs that the interiors have a Norwegian touch to their design. Wood has been used a great deal to make it look like some European cottage. Interestingly, the benches (for they weren't regular seats) had no backrests, and gave the impression of being fashioned in a rustic manner. Eschewing the chance to have tomato soup once again, our experiment began with Swiss Fagoli soup which had blobs & layers of cheese and pasta. Not being a gourmand, I couldn't tell you the taste, but 2 of us liked it, the other 2 found it decent. The appetizers came in for controversy. Settling for the Germanic sounding Rahmquark Dip, some of us were miffed at the idea of a dip with only about 3 vegetable slices per capita to do the dipping. Estimating the actual cost of it to be < Rs. 10 led to a round of wholesome cribbing which is so integral to the eating-out experience. The dip by itself was quite good, I thought, with its mustard flavour.

So now to the main course. The Cheese Fondue seemed to be the centerpiece of the main course, so we ordered that. Essentially, it consists of several cheeses melted in some wine and spices, along with some vegetables. We found out how novel the eating method would be when a pot containing the fondue was placed on a small flame in front of us. There were large pieces of bread to accompany it. We were each presented a long wooden fork. After a few curious glances at each other, we settled on the idea that you just had to poke in a cube of bread on your fork, dip and swirl it in the pot, and simply eat it. All pretence to sophistication was lost very soon as we lost crumbs in the fondue, tried to maximise our fondue-to-bread ratio and even indulged in mock fork-fights in the pot. Not how the Swiss intended it perhaps, but it was fun, and had we one less fork, we might have been four Dining Chinese Philosophers taking part in an Operating Systems course.

I had to have the Rosti once I saw the different kinds on the menu. Essentially because I didn't know if I'd get a chance again. The Simple Rosti turned out to be a flat brown mix of potatoes, onions and cheese ("pan-fried potatoes and onions baked with cheese"). It reminded me of the uthappa in size and filling, sans the flour. Not too bad.

Sandy recommended the exotically named Tiramisu as the first choice dessert. I'm glad we listened; it turned out to be a form of cheesecake served in a glass with a thick crust of chocolate powder on top. It literally melted in your mouth. Quite good. We even (amidst a spot of what can only be termed as "giggling" at the prospect of seeming to be unlikely hogs by the waiter) went in for a second piece of dessert, this time the Lemon Cheesecake which was not as good as the tiramisu, we thought. It was not that bad either, with an astringent taste from the lemon and a chocolate/cocoa base.

Despite what seemed to us as the worst form of excesses, we came away with a bill of Rs. 250/- per wallet. We were able to sample the main offering of the cuisine, though the portions did seem to be a little less compared to the prices. It was definitely worth an experiment and the food was not too heavy on the tummy. I'm no food critic so you'll have to take my word with a pinch of salt (with cheese of course).

The curious case of Albert Finney

[Inspector Gregory] "Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?"
[Sherlock Holmes] "To the curious incident of the dog in the night time."
"The dog did nothing in the night time."
"That was the curious incident," remarked Sherlock Holmes"
- "Silver Blaze" [From the "Adventures of Sherlock Holmes"].

Perhaps the above extract is not entirely appropriate in this context, but it always is a point of surprise when someone does not do something that is taken for granted of him or of his type. For some time now, I have had a similar wonder for the actor Albert Finney.

I first heard of Albert Finney while reading the well-known director David Lean's autobiography. But before that, if you haven't heard of this British actor, here's a quick marker. Remember Ed Masry, the lawyer who's also the boss of the sassy Erin Brockovich in the eponymous film? The man playing Masry is Albert Finney. Recently, he was also seen in Big Fish. Perhaps you know him from Murder on the Orient Express.

The fact that he is not a famous person is essentially the point of this post. For, from Lean's autobiography, I learnt that it was Finney who was the first choice to play the title role of Lawrence of Arabia. It seems that Finney was unanimously hailed as the best British actor of his generation, the man to carry the torch after Olivier and Guinness. Astonishingly, he turned down the chance, apparently on the notion that he couldn't (or wouldn't) cope with the fame that was inevitable with that major part. Or he perhaps didn't want to be beset with all the attention that would come with it. The part went to Peter O'Toole, who despite all the body of work later, is still known for being "Lawrence".

I don't profess to know anything about Finney apart from these facts and what I little I have read of him so I have no clue as to whether my inferences about him are in anyway true. However since Finney is not a big name, one may not understand or share my awe for that decision. As an analogy perhaps, if Irfan Pathan announced that he would not play in any overseas tours saying that he didn't want the attendant fame that accompanied successful cricketers, most of us would be surprised at such a decision - for he would have thrown away not only the secondary offering of long lasting adulation and the chance to enjoy good financial rewards, he would also have reduced his chances of playing at the highest level consistently. Any artist or sportsman typically wants to display his art and talent to the public. That is part of his ego, and the reactions of his audience to his skill is one of the primal highs for the artist. So would anyone throw away the chance to be part of the biggest and the best in their profession?

I am of course measuring Finney's success by the traditional yardsticks - look at the number of film blockbusters against his name (hardly any), Oscars (none), recognition (not outside UK or limited US audiences) etc. Compare this to O'Toole who atleast had one major blockbuster that will somehow live on as a classic (unwieldy, though it may be) and reasonable recollection among people. Considering what Olivier and Lean have said about Finney and given his vast success on the stage, Finney had evidently got all that it took to be a "superstar" (which, unlike becoming an "actor", has more to do with the media and the personality). But he refused. Till this day, since he's probably slotted in as a "character actor" who can be relied upon to give an assured performance, I wonder how he feels about being denoted as a "could-have-been".

That is assuming Finney cares at all. A quick web search revealed very little out of the usual list of filmographies. This interview promoting Big Fish has him talking about his film selections, how he never has been to the Oscars despite being nominated 5 times and why he feels his career lies in England only. I'd of course like to read an autobiography, but Finney rules out writing one! There is mention of an unauthorised biography though.

It's a theme that struck me some time back that to advance in many professions calls for certain kinds of lifestyles and personalities. For instance, jobs that require pumping people for information (such as some journalists or intelligence officers!) would require one to be coercive, persuasive, wheedling, canny and perhaps fluent with the language of the drink. High powered executives cannot be those who see socializing events as a waste of time, for networking is vital in that sphere. Introverted people or those who may not wish to be myopic to hypocrisy may find it difficult to perform these additional actions that come along with the territory. Cricketers and film-wallahs need to learn how to handle the mass of people around them. It may be lonely at the top, but you are surrounded by people when you are at the top.

Its difficult to stick to what you know best, for at the higher levels, it seems like the other "skills" take over. Is leading a life at the higher echelons impossible without requiring a high-energy orbit?

Back to Finney. It always strikes me greatly ironical that both Finney and O'Toole have never won an Oscar in open competition. Finney has had 5. O'Toole with 7 still has the record for not having won an Oscar despite the many nominations. Several people have taken home Oscars for a lot lesser. The irony is because the root of this reflection was in Finney's unwillingness to be Lawrence. O'Toole wasn't so reluctant. In the end, looking at their lives in broad highlights from a distance, the way things turned out are somewhat similar. I wonder if any of those two thinks about what may have been if one had chosen differently? What part cynicism, what part pragmatism and what part romanticism lay in Finney's decision?

Drought and the Strategy

In view of their election debacle, there may have been those among the BJP that wondered if calling an early election was indeed the best option, given that Mr. Vajpayee reportedly wanted to see out a full term. The danger in his choice would've been the uncertainty in the monsoon. Given that so far the rains seem to have failed us somewhat, the BJP can now drop that thought - it may have been an even greater rout (if not as bad) later in the year.

"Swapna" Alexander Kane?

I wonder if Mr. Subroto Roy "Sahara" has seen the American classic Citizen Kane? In particular, the dismal efforts of Charles Foster Kane to promote his second wife Susan Alexander Kane as an opera singer, throwing the full weight of all his papers and influence, and ultimately failing? For the "Saharashri" (wonder what the Bedouins think of that appellation?) has a music label, a couple of TV channels and lots of influence to let his wife pursue a musical career. The songs play on these channels and though mercifully, she isn't awful to listen to, she doesn't have a perfect voice. The video (shot by Binod Pradhan, no less) showcases the opulence of the Roys in no small measure. How do you translate Xanadu in Bengali?

Had planned to leave this new item alone until I saw a Sunday TOI article on the budding singer who wishes she had done more "riyaaz" before this music video "Dheere". Also, the same newspaper had a feature on Lata Mangeshkar which said that she still had a "voice whose range and quality remains undiminished" amd "It's the same mellifluous voice". Astonishing! Even hardcore Lata fans wouldn't make such statements. Of course, her voice is not as good as it was in her heydays. I must respectfully disagree with the platitudes.

Faux News - VII

Faux News bulletin

(You know it's time if it's faux pas nine!)

Sunny crowned ENT org's Brand Ambassador
By our Health correspondent

Sunny Deol is the new Ambassador at Large for India's premier ENT Surgeons organisation. The President of the Indian ENT Surgeons Association, Dr. Neelkanth, announced this in a press conference at Kanpur yesterday that followed a felicitation ceremony for the star actor.

Dr. Neelkanth expressed great admiration for the Jat actor's astonishingly robust throat that had enabled the actor to provide some of the most decibel-stirring performances in recent times. The President also unveiled graphs demonstrating the sharp increase in cases of ear-drum bursts and tinnitus among regular Sunny fans which directly benefited large number of ENT Surgeons in the Hindi heartland. He mentioned that the Association would provide requisite financial assistance to those doctors who are unable to afford the rising rental prices of those clinics situated close to theatre houses showing Sunny Deol films.

The actor in his speech wholeheartedly thanked the IESA for bestowing this unique honour on him and pledged to keep his voice intact. This would help further the cause of the ENT surgeons in this country who have not received their due, he said. The veteran actor refuted as "BASELESS!!!" any allegation that the high decibel levels of films like Maa Tujhe Salaam and Hero: Love Story of a Spy were financed by unscrupulous elements of the ENT community. He also fumed at allegations that his films "stank to high heaven" for precisely the same reasons and vowed "TO HUNT SUCH TRAITORS AND GROUND THEM INTO THE PURE SOIL OF OUR BELOVED LAND!!!".

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Click here for a free look at the earlier editions.

Through the Peep Hole

If your idea of salespeople is romantically derived from films like Chasm-é-Baddoor's Miss Chamko, then you are standing on the wrong side of the reality chasm. Most salespeople that market smallish goods have a tough job walking up and down, being looked at suspiciously and having to get past the defences of cynical householders.

Saleswomen can be thwarted if you maintain that there are no "ladies" (always in plural, like in rail compartments where TCs and the passenger travelling alone get the "it is a question of 'ladies', can you adjust" treatment) at home. Some sales guys are college kids from management schools with hopelessly impractical theories on salesmanship and communication. There are different theories on dealing with salespeople while retaining some sympathy and sensitivity towards them. Some maintain that it is best to shoo them away while others feel it is better to let them display their wares even if one has no intention of purchase. Some just melt when they see the plight of the salespeople. However, it takes just one bad experience to reverse this tactic.

But till so far, we've had the best experiences with the guys selling Calcutta sarees. They're always polite, they always understand if you aren't interested and let you speak as a representative of the household without insisting on being shown to the lady of the house (who sometimes has the uncanny habit of arriving when you've just convinced the door-seller that there indeed isn't any female presence in the house). The demeanour of the Calcutta sarees salesman is one of "That's perfectly fine. But are you really sure? You don't know what you are missing". I don't, of course.

Notes from recent times

A quick glance on some of my recent postings reveals that I spend too much time once again only on films and TV and at strange attempts at being funny. I decided to take a leaf out of some of the other blogs on the sidebar by recounting some of the things I've been doing of late. ******** I've had some post-worthy new ideas for this blog but I've decided to take my time writing them up as I notice my tendencies towards overlooking typos and grammatical gaffes shows an upward trend as before. I am in too much of a hurry to get things out. Plus, I haven't really had that much spare time of late. ******** Books and movies occupy much of my recent available time these last few months. I'm pleased to report that I've got through (at good speed) volumes II and III of the Potter series (thanks S.W.) and yes, I found them quite enjoyable. As commented before, Ms. Rowling does have a fertile imagination and uses it to good effect. I didn't think I'd like it at first, but R.K.Narayan's The Financial Expert is vintage Narayan - the simplicity and nonchalance with which he describes the lives of his characters is worth learning from. Yet another book exhibition (keep them coming) led me to modify my already fragile resolution to avoid them until I'd done with the existing stack. This time I got an old but sought after copy of William Feller's book on Probability (thanks to A.G. for both the recommendation and as it turned out, the eventual find) and a book on the LTTE supremo Prabhakaran. The former is to help me revisit that branch of maths (I felt I had missed out on learning it properly) and the latter is to help understand why the Lankan crisis is the way it is. Plus the small fact that I actually share my birthday with him. ******** Movies this time. I have been giving the vcd player a bit of the run with my meagre collection consisting of Iruvar, Kannathil Mutthamittaal and Citizen Kane. Also a film that I hadn't heard of before called The Ghost and the Darkness. Am planning to watch Lagaan again tonight; it's been a while since I've seen it. Also witnessed some parts from a couple of typical Mohanlal films on Asianet (I never find the name of these films 'coz when the titles appear, no one is at hand to read them out: the only way to identify them then is knowing which Hindi/Tamil remake/original that is). One of them was the one that has the same story as Sai Paranjype's Katha. ******** I'm really happy to see the BC quiz flourish again, thanks to all the enthusiastic quizzers from outside COEP. Glad to note that the BC quiz is now wholly all-inclusive: it's always been that way, but now it can be perceived thus as well. An interesting quiz on Biz/Eco (usually one of my most feared topics) by Sohel was our theme yesterday. Additionally, have been slotting in some IT questions for a couple of upcoming quizzes I have to do. Fortunately, I've managed to streamline somewhat the presentation part so the painful portions were quickly done. ******** So many people I know are blogging these days! A glut, especially in the last couple of months. Which means a lot more to read about people I know, which is really what makes it compelling. Have decided to try and resist the urge to comment profusely. ******** I wonder if GMail's using the Orkut method for new accounts as a deliberate strategy, (wherein you have to get invited to use it) ? It might help them control the amount of space etc, but I really wonder if it's preying on people's instincts to be attracted to elitism. Speaking of orkut, I have 24 connections in quick time. I still remain somewhat ambivalent about it as I'm usually rather slack about building my social empire. However, it did help me find a schoolfriend (actually the other way around) that may have otherwise never happened. ******** Interesting how NZ and England's Test & ODI fortunes are so contrary. I know NZ's recent form has been excellent (IIRC, they've won about 11 games on the trot), but I must confess sharing Ganguly's surprise at why India are in 5th place and are not any higher. Well, they have a good chance at a leg up in the Asia Cup. Speaking of which, I wonder how many games will be lost to rain. They always seem to have tournaments in July in Sri Lanka and they are inevitably rain-affected. Was trying to find a count of such matches over the last couple of years, but the cricinfo search isn't geared for that kind of search or so I found. ******** Was reading about when it would be that emails have RSS feeds too - something that struck me some time back too. Of course, the feeds would require good authentication etc., but for a mainly Read view of emails, it would help tremendously. Should be very easy. Of course, don't expect that from sites like Rediff, but perhaps Google is already thinking of it. ******** One thing I really like about the place I work is that the excellent auditorium is put to good use and we have colloquia featuring good speakers on various topics. Not just on tech topics, but on environment and health to name a few. It's a super place to host a quiz as I was fortunate enough to find out, as it has got just about the right kind of facilities for such events. ******** Saw a poll on TOI asking whether Amitabh Bachchan was diluting his brand equity with his frequent appearance in TV ads being overwhelmingly voted for. I don't agree, for personally, I find every star's persuasive power over me quite the same. In fact, I do like some of the Big B's ads, primarily the Parker pen ones and the new Cadbury's (IIRC) one. ******** The climate remains typically Puneri. Great weather. I don't know how long this kind of climate will last in this city, given how some things are disintegrating and also don't know if how long I will remain here, but hope to make the most of it. This is home.

Law of Conservation of T.V. "Bahu"s

For each and every sushiil and sajjan bahu in the TV universe, there exists an evil and duraachaari bahu of equal and opposite magnitude. This ensures a critical mass of tense plot-making and avoids winding up of the serial below a minimum threshold.

Garrincha!

That was the answer to the last question in the last leg of the all India finals of the best television quiz in India. It happened to be answered by Abhinava Vidyalaya, Pune, a 20-pointer no less, and that decided who won the ESPN School Quiz for 2003-2004. Rohit Bahulekar and Rohit Chandrachud "majorly cracked it". Absolutely stunning achievement, given that no non-East Zone team had won this quiz till now, and it was one of the tightest contests I've ever seen.

PSBB, Nungambakkam from Chennai and Hartley's High School from Kolkata were awesome too, but the guys from Pune held on, and had their favourite soccer questions bailing them out when they needed it the most. All these kids are so amazing at the ages of 13/14/15 that I shudder to think what they'll be like in ten years time if they keep at it. All the rest of us should probably retire and save ourselves some embarrassment :-). The champs haven't yet responded to an invitation to the BCQC yet, but hope to see them soon and raise a toast to 'em.

Paint it Yellow

TOI-bashing is a legal bloodsport now, especially the gore-filled theatre of Pune Times of India slashing. Allow me to play that today. The last three editions of the PTOI have had a new feature - that of the off-the-record photo, that suggests at hidden liasons and vices in so-called stars. Yesterday, it was someone clicked with someone else and suggestive guesses being made, the day before it was someone clutching someone else's hand and being focussed on, today it was Tanuja smoking a cigarette. Who really cares what these people are doing in their lives? First it was PTOI clicking people at parties etc. Now they're supposedly shooting people at unguarded moments and posing it as an "exposé". Two things: either those people don't know they've been captured like that (or perhaps they're in cahoots with PTOI and are ok with the publicity) and secondly, how is it in anyway worth being printed?

I hate it when these media guys insidiously slip in such small features. In general, they claim that "this is what people want to read", and that improving sales are evidence of that. That's a very vague argument. No one seems to have proven a direct relation between this kind of content and the sales. But when such new features are introduced, I'd like to know what immediate effect PTOI claims it will have. Do people rush to buy the paper because some minor celebrity is shown doing something somewhere which may be worth some gossip, but only to a few? I cannot picture anyone going "oooh! Tanuja smokes, I have got to have that issue which broke this astounding story". She might do a lot of other things, who cares? The problem with such things are that they start off being minor, but to sustain it, the newspaper will keep pushing the boundaries, little by little. Then they will say that "but that's what people want to read". I'd like to meet someone who buys TOI in Pune mainly for that supplement.

We have never had a full-blown Hearstian kind of media coverage in India where you clearly know what to expect, which ends up forcing the newspapers to stop pretending to be a broadsheet along with casual gossip. In the US & UK, it seems like the lines are more clearly drawn and you pay for that you want. Here, you have to take everything, like it or not. It's not really "everything" anymore, as white is being slowly replaced by yellow.

I'm to blame in some respect; as a subscriber I never challenged my accustomed habit of reading the TOI all these years. Thoughts of disgust at such things are always tempered by an inertial feeling of "let me ignore it" and TOI "is like that only". For the first time, I'm really wondering why I'm paying for a five-page supplement, all pages of which have the same page number.

Faux News - VI

Faux News bulletin

(You know it's time if it's faux pas nine!)

Sledging row hits India's Child Genius
By our Entertainment correspondent

An unseemly row hit the game show India's Child Genius when a contestant was accused of indulging in "sledging". The show, leased from Fox, is a contest for intelligent children under the age of 15 and has several attractive cash prizes for the winners.

The ruckus blew during the shooting of a North Zone preliminary round, where a child Rickinder Nagrath (name changed) was allegedly seen clipping Rohit Saxena in the leg. He also said Rohit wouldn't know which button to press for the next answer since he barely knew the alphabet and called him a name during the first round. (This round sees all the 16 participants simultanously attempt questions.) This alleged behavior followed the question "For which country did Rodney Marsh play cricket?". Rohit Saxena claims that Rickinder did so to upset his (Rohit's) form (Rohit had amply demonstrated this by punching both fists in air after every previous question in obvious triumph at getting them right) and because he refused to let Rickinder peek over his shoulder.

Rickinder denies any such attempt at gamesmanship and says he was only talking to himself and the physical contact with Rohit was because of a nervous reaction. However, this paper has learnt from some of Rickinder's classmates that young Ricki isn't always averse to such tactics even in school. Ricki's father dismisses such talk as that of jealousy and the inability of certain kids to take good-natured banter.

For his part, the host and director of the show, Siddhartha Basu, was quite surprised to see such events unfold in front of his eyes. "Never have I seen such a display on any of my shows in all my 20 years of TV broadcasting" said the veteran quizmaster. He also said that the incident had shaken him up a little, as he was only used to dealing with chirpy college students and usually dumbstruck Mastermind participants.

While most child psychologists will only point to the extreme pressure put on children to perform, especially when the stakes are high, some have hailed this phenomenon as the emergence of a true killer instinct in Indian children.

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A knack for it

When English sportsmen and their teams lose (which is quite often, when you consider sports like football, tennis, cricket though the trend has been reversed somewhat in Test cricket and rugby), their post-match laments will almost inevitably contain the words "gutted" and "knackered". These are quite appropriate phrases and I quite fancy them, for they do convey exactly how someone can feel in these situations.

The England-Portugal Euro 2004 quarter-final left not only the players "knackered", but the audiences as well. The match simply refused to end, and each twist had a hairpin bend ahead to contend with. I rarely sit up till 3 a.m. for a football match, but this was extremely compelling. Somehow, history shows that if it can happen, it will happen to the English soccer team.

Page 0.33333 Personality

It has been said of the social circle of people like me that if it were any smaller, the theory of singularities could be explained away as emanating from the party life of one of us, thus causing both great consternation and relief among physicists. It has also been well observed that were I in a zoo (as hoped for in certain quarters), I would definitely not be in the cage labeled "party animal", simply because: (a) I don't throw parties (b) I don't know too many people who do (c) most of my friends follow (a) and (b). Thus we form an almost perfect closure of the set. Not that it really bothers me that much, for my idea of happiness doesn't depend on the number of invitations at hand.

But into the depths of each frog-in-the-well, some rain must fall and adding to the profusion of concocted metaphors, when it drips a little, it pours. For the last several weeks, I have been to a variety of social affairs. It seems to me that the period of May-June is usually one to usher in a series of arrivals and farewells, and changes in conditions. This year, a rash of product releases and picnics have also coincided with the same, leading to an steep increase in the number of paneer dishes consumed.

The reason for all this reflection is that a murmur has been oveheard from certain regions (principally across my cubicle wall) as to the possible augmentation of my Page Three Quotient. Hilarious though the suggestion was (as intended), it set me thinking. What if the local rag had clicked this writer at one of these events? What would the captions state? At the blah-blah show, JR and a couple of happening friends. Blue jeans are the flavour of the season, R shows off the latest from J's gallery. Ray sips a quiet drink by the poolside. JR chats up a PYT. That exercise in tabloid copywriting apart, in reality, the caption would most likely read: Dishevelled JR in off-ghaaN sweatshirt looks sleepy again while chatting to himself.

Why the title "Page 0.3333", the mathematically inclined among you dare to ask? Because I'm the inverse of a Page Three Personality.

Kamal and Marathi films

When Kamalhaasan speaks, I usually listen. The interviews are usually quite interesting and insightful. I don't grudge him what people think of as his arrogance. I consider that more of super-confidence. I don't care that sometimes he freaks out big time in his films. He is among the few who in doing that can actually push the boundaries of Indian filmmaking. So I listen whenever he has something to say.

Rediff has a two part interview: Link to Part 1 and Link to Part 2. In the second one, he has a very interesting take on an unlikely topic: Marathi cinema. To quote:

In fact, I am seriously thinking of doing a Marathi film.

Do you know Marathi?

I can manage. I didn't know Malayalam, Telugu or Hindi [earlier].

Marathi culture is a great culture which is as old and important as Tamil culture. It is a bigger state too. It is a pity they have given up all their culture to Hindi cinema. I don't know why they don't have the vernacular pride that Tamilians have. They should be producing 100 films a year.

I would love to act in a Marathi film, on my terms. I am not talking about money. It should be a good film.

I would agree with him broadly, as Marathi cinema hasn't touched the same heights that its literature and poetry have, to cite a few aspects. Good actors such as Vikram Gokhale, the late Mohan Gokhale, Amol Palekar and Atul Kulkarni have been gifted to the national scene, but not enough happens at home. I wonder what my Marathi friends have to say about the above quote.

While in the realms of imagination, it would be awesome to have a film made by Amol Palekar starring the great man!

Raghu Romeo

Raghu Romeo turned out to be pretty much the way I had imagined it would be. Catching it in the company of Samrat and his wife, the film was one of those good ones which don't have any momentous revelations to make, but just hope to tell a story of a person and tell it well.

Raghu (Vijay Raaz) lives in a dream, and sometimes (unwillingly) he has to go into the world of reality where no one can hope to understand anything that he does. But that fantasy is more real to him than the real world can ever be. Sweety (Sadiya Siddique) is the complete opposite; she knows what she wants, and she knows what she feels for Raghu. Add a doppelganger called Neetaji/Reshma (Maria Goretti, debut in films) and an unlikely assassin-in-shorts called Mario a.k.a Brother (Samrat conjecturing the origins are from "Mario Brothers") and you have a sweet tale that does not go sour. The film will appeal to the romantic in you, especially that streak that compels you to be silly even when you know what a limited role romance can really play in real life.

Raghu Romeo takes several digs at the patently inane world of the Indian TV soap, which I'm sure is Rajat Kapoor's way of expressing protest. The only TV interview I've seen that placid guy give was on CNBC's TrendMill, which was on the sets of some generic soap in which he was acting. Dressed in one of those made-for-TV Indian formals, he spoke of his small dream that he couldn't get anyone to distribute. The disconnect to the FTTI alumnus must have be galling, like some Renaissance artist painting houses, , but how else does an actor pay for his bread? Rajat Kapoor must've have held on to every silly dialogue he's had to speak for the purpose of slashing at in his script, with great effect. If I had to classify this film, I would put in that shelf holding films such as Chasm-e-Baddoor, where stories can be told leisurely and with a lot of love.

Vijay Raaz is a special talent, and proves once again that we have great actors to look forward to even if they would be classified by people as mere sidekicks to stars. Vijay Raaz will probably never win a popular "acting" award or be interviewed to the accompaniment of a glossy still, but in his heart, he'd know he is worth a 100 top billings. Sadiya Siddique and Saurabh Shukla (Mario) are excellent. Maria Goretti is an inspired piece of casting, for she pulls off both the synthetic Indian bahu and the bitchy, modern actress without slipping into VJ-mode. The rest of the cast (Vijay Patkar, Surekha Sikri, Virendra Saxena et al) give no cause for complaint. Saurabh Shukla's dialogues are a riot, especially in the four-person-mid-room-conference that is worth a repeat watch. The music (Pritam) and lyrics fit the mood of the film, with the memorable multi-genre musical piece all flitting by Raghu's world.

Rajat Kapoor in his directorial venture proves that sometimes all it takes to make a good film is to have a bunch of fine actors, a good script, befitting dialogues, appropriate music and common sense. Sure, not having item numbers or action sequences or special effects and having a running time of only 100 minutes makes it extraordinarily difficult to find distribution, but what the heck, the film is out now. Sure, people wonder what Raghu Romeo is, and why they shouldn't watch it on cable, and why they shouldn't go watch Hum Tum given a choice. Sure, people think what would be special about that "comedian" Vijay Raaz, and who the hell Saurabh Shukla is and isn't that the girl who used to be on MTV?

Don't watch Raghu Romeo out of charity. Don't expect the next generation in films from it. It is not extraordinary of course, but it is well-made.To those who think they know what clean entertainment is, give Raghu Romeo a shot (it is classified "A", but I really, really wonder why given some other films). Watch it to know that films aren't always about 70mm Digital Dolby, 38 cheerleaders, 3 fashion designers and a 20 crore budget. It is possible to dream (like Raghu and Rajat do), even if some dreams are best fantasised about than realised.

Music Blog

Ricky Chandarana has a blog devoted to all his favourite songs, filmi and non, so far all Hindi. It's called Sun-oh and so far, most from the list of songs that he discussed have been favourites of mine, and I guess of most people. I picked it off the ARR egroups, but his posts encompass SD, RD, S-E-L and ARR among others.

Great effort. Definitely worth a look.