Muaf nahi, me.n thujhe saaf kar duu.ngaa!

I recently "Lucky Prasad"-ed myself. That is something you cannot really mask, unless if it was originally like the ones sported by Pradeep Kumar or S.S.Rajendran in their heydays.

From a human nature observation point of view it is interesting to note reactions (in this case, it is involuntary). The outspoken ones and the well-acquainted will express their feelings immediately. Whereas most of the rest will notice it but will try very hard to behave as if it never existed in the past. A very small minority will notice something has changed, but wouldn't be able to figure it out.

Why not purr through the year

Though I have never taken the IIMs' Common Aptitude Admission Test, I have several friends who have done so and with success. This year, there was some hubbub over the changed format. Given that the exam is taken each year by record numbers of candidates, I wonder why CAT isn't converted into a test (computerised) that one can take around the year, a la the GRE.

The advantages to my mind are many. One, the organisers are not liable to find their logistics stretched to great extents that the sheer numbers must inevitably cause. The cost of arranging classrooms, paper printing & distribution and staff to supervise the proceedings will be a direct function of the number of candidates. Add to this the high security costs. Instead, a continuously running test option would spread the numbers all around the year, plus the computerisation would ease the conduct. All you need during the application cycle is a valid CAT score.

Secondly, it gives candidates some breathing space w.r.t their preparations when unforeseen events happen. Samrat missed his Nov. date twice before. Once, by becoming a canary and contracting jaundice and the following year by having to travel abroad. Fortunately, he eventually took it and made it through to IIM-L. But if he had had an option to give the exam at another date, he may have perhaps have saved himself a year. People are so stressed out with the exam that it's sad to see months of effort go down the drain.

Third, the exam would be less affected to being derailed by paper leaks & misconduct. I know this system must have been proposed last year during the wake of the scandal, but now that things have quietened down and with a successful exam behind them, the IIMs could now change to a more operationally viable system.

We have heard of the big brains at the IIMs, so it should not be too difficult for them to design & implement such a system here. A large database of questions from which questions are periodically chopped & updated shouldn't be too difficult to prepare given the "aptitude" nature of the questions. Perhaps there is no need for a feedback based question set that the GRE uses. As long as they can ensure a fair question paper when making a random selection from the database, there ought to be no complaints on the relative ranking of candidates. Also, you can restrict the number of attempts in a year.

If the idea behind the CAT is about an efficient & quick filter before the next stages, a year-round exam option would not only help the IIMs, it will also give those who haven't done that well a chance to look for other alternatives. Heck, even I may attempt it then, even if just to check my aptitude :-)

Any dissections from management fogeys?

Not another group blog!

Some of us were planning yet-another-cricket-blog to spew forth (why?) on the game on a free publishing service but no one seems to have turned up at the party. Until I know the venue, I thought why not open some cake & coke at this link ?

I have so many important things to do beside this - at the end, while listing up the reasons why I was a failure, "Blogging" will be the "Abou Ben Adhem".

God and the jump cut

Jump cut: a cut which causes the audience to perceive a gap in time, or an unaccountable change in a screen object’s apparent position. Usually occurs when cutting between two images which share an identical subject but place the subject at different positions in the frame.

After several days of forgetting about it, I remembered just before I nodded off. So when He came in to have a conversation as usual, I could tell Him:

"You should give me special powers, you know."
I guess I can, but you know, I'm always a little, um, hesitant giving what people want when they ask for such powers.

I guess most people are usually buggin' him about some crap or the other. I wonder if He thinks this is part of the same crap. I looked at him and caught him smiling, so guess He heard that.

"No, I'm not going to ask you for something deadly. Nothing like say going invisible or being able to fly maybe, though that would be way cool. But no, I don't think you've been asked this before."
Really?

I could tell I had his attention.

"You should give me the power of the 'jump cut'."

His forehead creased in that cool, intelligent way that just oozed wisdom. Of course, he came at me all ignorant and all.

What's that? A jump cut I mean. By the way, you don't have to think of me in the capitalised form. "he" will do..

That's one thing about him - I think he considers polite inquiry and child-like innocence to be a virtue. He's always asking me & telling me stuff like that. I guess he makes sure I have my fundas clear about what I'm saying.

"Hmm.. See, in some of these movies, they skip a few frames in the middle - for e.g. they just cut from you walking from there to you having reached here. Instead of showing all the intermediate parts. It's abrupt, jumpy, but it looks cool. Especially with the right kind of bgm."

Right! I remember - you've mentioned it to me before. But that's in a movie, right? I don't understand what you mean by "wanting it".

"It just came to me when I was in this really boring meeting. The kind where some dude opens his laptop and starts to paint the wall in beige. Then we all stare at it waiting for it to dry."

Did he stifle a chuckle? He has a sense of humour, but perhaps that was a poor joke.

"Anyway, I thought wouldn't it be majorly useful if I could just jump forward in time and basically cut the crap. I mean, all that coffee must not be good for me, no?"

So you want to be able to fast-forward, hmm?

"Actually no. There's a bit of a difference. Let me explain".

I turned around in my sleep to a more comfortable position before continuing.

See, when you FF, you can see all the intermediate images - you merely rush through them. Mostly, they look very funny, that's all. I thought of that before. But I think doing that would mean I'd actually have to live through it consciously. Maybe going through it so rapidly might actually mean the impact of what I am trying to avoid would actually be more, hmmm.. intense.
Whereas in these jump-cuts you don't remember what happened in between?
"But you know what the outcome was - you just fill in the blanks. Interpolation, you see."

He seemed thoughtful, like he was weighing the possibilities.

You do realise that events will still happen, don't you?
"Oh yeah. I'm not asking you to let me change the course of history, now" I said chuckling
Hmm... I don't think you'd be able to any way.

Ooff! Put down. I've got to be a little careful. He's so close to granting this - don't want to spoilt it.

"I just want to accelerate it when I don't like it. Of course, I need to remember it at the end. But not all the details of how it happens."
"Let's see now - a few time variables in the Equation. Should be possible to arrange. No space changes of course. You won't find yourself at a different place suddenly, I mean.
"That should be cool."
I hope you can remember this. Saying that he leaned over and whispered something in my ear. Of course, can't reveal what it was. Code of secrecy and all.

... then blink. You'll learn to control the length of the gap soon.
"Wow! Thanks a lot, sir."
There's not much harm you can do it with that, I hope. Let's see... We'll check how you're getting along with this. I hope you won't get too greedy for something else soon
"Not at all. Thanks again!"

Yoo-hoo. Can't wait to try it out. Will try not to use it too often or too injud

    ly. Must remember not to boast ab

    o others. Shoot! I forgot the possibility of me missing something. I wish I had aske

    ome way to get an action replay of sorts if not going back in time (which he'll sure be touchy about). Next time perhaps. Till then, if you see any break

    olate for yourself, won't you?

Blogroll additions

Say hello to: Mukul, Siddharth Dani, Nakul, Ajay Bhat and Aditya

Before I make the rest of my additions, I have got to re-org the side bar.

River Moon

If you are a Rahman fan, River Moon is something you should be keenly awaiting. The film, previously known in its pre-controversial days as Water, should be preceded by its soundtrack in the coming months. Even though Netaji, The Rising and Kisna (Ismail Durbar is the lead MD, Rahman is contributing a couple) will also soon evoke the curse of Pip (a.k.a "Great Expectations"), River Moon is different. That's because Rahman says it is 10/10, which is a huge thing for him to say given his levels of modesty - so he won't be kidding with the public.

The unseemly & illogical controversy a few years ago had effectively pushed the score into the cupboard without any reliable hope of it being heard. But seems like the makers always planned to make the movie elsewhere (Sri Lanka as it turned out). Wonder if the internal rumblings of the Sangh Parivar have prevented them from noticing this quiet development or they've just let it be. However, I don't care for the movie much (considering that there's John Abraham & Lisa Ray acting in it - proven models-turned-non-actors so far) - so just give us the songs.

Saying that the hype or expectations will kill this one won't do - after all he started it :-).

Let the games begin

At home and bouncing a small red ball from wall to wall. I haven't done this in a while. At one time, this occupied a lot of my free time. It had several more sophisticated versions. Wall tennis, wall cricket, wall table tennis among many. (Wall tennis is technically solitaire squash, but not if you play for Becker or Ivanisevic.)

There was home football too, sometimes simply consisting of direct free kicks or penalties. But the balls left their mark on the walls, so after they were freshly repainted, I was banned from hiring them for my sporting leagues for a year. This has not been the only attempt to curb the bounce; in Bombay, a neighbour complained about the noise I was making (or so he said) on the common wall, thus ruining one of my better tennis leagues. I had to switch to home basketball (with pelmet niches replacing hoops).

No sport was without commentary or detailed scores. There was inevitably a bit of matchfixing involved if India was playing. I remember tearing out a cricket sheet while playing book-cricket when try as I might, the pages spelt doom for the team. Book-football & "pen game" were the rage in school, with an after hours league. Book-tennis didn't last that long.

The streets are empty - no one plays for timepass any more. Instead, they go to special facilities to become World no. 1.

Darkness

The tragedy of my life was that I couldn't make a living out of that what I was good at. Then I wasn't good enough at that from which I wished to make a living out of. And neither was I really good at that with which I made my living, nor did I really wish to make a living out of it.

The not-so-secret canon of Blatherskite Weisenheimer

Faux News - 9

Faux News bulletin

(You know it's time if it's faux pas nine!)

Big banners announce 2005 Diwali dhamaakaas!
By our Bollywood correspondent

Scarcely has the festive season ended that producers have started to look ahead to next year's Diwali. Two big production houses have announced big budget films with grand starcasts.

Leading the pack is the granddad of sentimental romance, Jus Chopper, who revealed he was now making a love story of international proportions. Providing an exclusive preview of the film, he said it would be set in post-war Iraq and post-Bush America. To be called "Mir-Sarah", it documents the "human love pangs between Mir Yasser Hussein (an Iraqi freedom-fighter/terrorist) and Sarah Jane Smith (investigative reporter and the President's niece)". With a tagline of "I'm embedded in your heart", the story is how Mir & Sarah meet in Fallujah, fall in love between two Cruise missile attacks and are separated by the Marines who incarcerate Mir in Guantanomo Bay without any recourse to the Geneva Convention. It takes 22 years before pop group Boney M write a song and help reunite the two.

Mr. Chopper declined to answer how he will obtain permission to shoot in Iraq, but sources have disclosed that Holi-Bartan, a US based production house which is reportedly owned by the US Vice President is a key partner in this Indo-US co-production. Thanks to his influence, mustard & sunflower seeds imported from Punjab have been planted in the shooting locations. This revelation could be an embarrasment for the US administration, for documentary maker Mikael Mealy has threatened to expose this nexus in his upcoming film "Kelvin 273".

The film will feature Sarak Kahn, Julie Robert & Boney M, with Client Westwood & Dana Buster Keaton in cameos.

On the other hand, rival production house "Liberation Arts" has no plans to go international after their recent megastarrer Ate-Rats (the most controversial film ever) featuring the 3Cs: Ax Coumar, Caren Cooper and Pinky Chopper. Instead, they are planning a sequel called Ate-Rats II: the Mouse who came into their home (the second most controversial film ever).

Directors "The-Men-in-Black-and-White" refused to make the disclosure that this film was influenced by the Hollywood hit "Stuart Little". Quashing all rumours, they said this was actually based on a true incident in which Kobe Bryant adopted a mouse. They however confirmed the cast would feature the 3Cs again, Coumar as the adoptive father, Cooper as the adopted mouse and Chopper as the evil cat.

Producer Sue Basch Guy said she was in no hurry to complete the film and hence had allotted a time of one year to the directors. She has much to look forward to in the coming months, with the release of her much-awaited airplane romance "Cessna".

---

Click here for a free look at the earlier editions.

Prabhavit Prabhakar

No, it's not yet another corny name for a desi dubbed superhero. It's a term I coined to describe those (including me) who are so influenced by films as to weave them into daily life.

My group at work is particularly susceptible to celluloid of the motion picture kind. Our "prabhavit prabhakar"-ness spills over onto work. Which causes Sujay to break into an impromptu version of "Haa.n jab tak hai jaan" when faced with the question: "can we fight to the end and deliver our code successfully?". Or when asked about the arrival of a new big-shot manager, Parikshit says "Pistol jail me.n aa chuka hai". Or Daemon doing "angry young man" impressions

Understandably, references to "Sholay" dominate, but there are other founts to draw from - comedies like Golmaal or Chasm-e-Baddoor or Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron (any birthday celebrated with cake will see this recalled), recent ones like Lagaan or Jaani Dushman find themselves quoted often. "Angreji" films are also in vogue - every time the printer beeps "Paper Jam", you want to crush it like in "Office Space".

Un-prabhavit prabhakars around us may find us giggling like schoolgirls meeting their chocolate heroes from time to time, but in our defence, crazy things like these keep our sanity intact. For when we are depressed and frustrated, office buildings seem like Shawshank prison and we dream of printing out a poster of Rita Hayworth and start chiselling behind it. In contradiction, I feel that excessive film watching has actually resulting in further addling our minds, by providing it ideas and scenarios which would have never suggested themselves to us any other way.

Probably the most far-fetched filmy imaginary thing to have occured to me was after watching "Kill Bill 1". At a function to celebrate some divisional milestone, there were three people invited to cut the cake and they couldn't (out of modesty) decide who should do the honours. Instantly, I was lost in visions of a deadly battle between the three brandishing swords & daggers in a bloody fight to wrest the prestige of slashing the cake.... (you get the idea).

Warning: There is no redemption for "prabhavit prabhakars". For I am Jack's anti-normal imagination.

Once I could see, now I have cataract

Now an ICC study says that almost every bowler in the history of the game has chucked at one point or another. I'm sure umpires are most befuddled by all of this. The gap between what you see and what it is has never been more complex.

What Judge Potter Stewart famously said now appears to be true of "throwing", for like p0rn0graphy, no one seems to be able to define it, but think they can recognise it only when they see it.

Holy smokes

Here's wishing the "mango makkaL" safe & happy festivities

Try as I might resisting, but a festival day almost demands a post to be dedicated to it. However, Diwali sees a curious lack of enthusiasm from me, and has been so for the last several years. I guess it all started with finding Diwali bang in the middle of the PLs before the semester exams for four continuous years (which quietly hints that I did make it in 4, thank you). Given that it was the time when you discovered the extent of your preparation (or lack of it), the Sivakasi arsenal could be just a pale whimper before the days to come.

I find that the people who plunge into Diwali are ones with a critical mass of relatives or newly wed couples or families with young kids or people away from home filled with nostalgia or students & working chaps with a chance to head home. Since I don't fit into any of the above categories, Diwali is yet another festival holiday. I don't burst crackers, just light the nominal sparkler to mark the occasion. In addition, "Naraka Chaturdashi" is our Diwali day and I work that day, so the Laxmi Puja day is just a day off from work (may not be, considering the state of our product release scheduled for next week).

Not that if I was home on Diwali day, I would do anything special. Sadly, it comes down to what's on the Tamil channels. Sun TV provides a mouth-watering film on Thursday evening, one I've been awaiting for a while. It's late, but it's his latest #1. Sing it now, in chorus:

B - to - the - A - to - the - B - to - the - A!

B-A-B-A!!!

That's right ladies & gentlemen, time for the "|..|" mudra (a.k.a "|,,|") !!.

For those who came in late, Baba was Rajnikant's last film, released in Aug 2002. Apparently, even Rajini fans couldn't save the film. Which makes it even more appealing in my mind. Fret not, Superstar fans, I have nothing against him (he's actually a classic case of fettered & frittered potential) and his formulaic themes are quite entertaining. But I fear it's going to be Thanksgiving rather than Diwali, for Baba is reportedly quite the turkey. But his fans and well-wishers hope it's all gatam, gatam. #2

F5 your memory with:

* My (unfair) views on the film, even without having seen it.

* A splendid review elsewhere

notes
0. This post was dedicated to Rahul Srinivas who would love watching this film if he was here
1. One of Baba's trademark catchphrases from this film
2. Yet another signature toon from this film

See, that's how we laugh, innit?

The best part about British sitcoms (especially those from the BBC's stable) was that you could find one (or many) to suit your own sense of humour, for they spanned a large variety of topics & comedy styles. From the witty & highbrow to the fairly raunchy, they had it all.

There's been a revival of these comedies for me thanks to the large DVD collection that the local British Library has made available for its members. Thanks to a timely investment in a DVD player, some of us have wasted no time in raiding the larder for films & TV series. I got to catch up with some old favourites.

The first BBC comedy I ever saw was Yes Minister that DD so paternally screened. I didn't get any of the jokes then and wondered why (and who) was laughing from time to time. The situation improved a little when the pre-commercialised Star Plus had a British comedy every weeknight. IIRC, the sequence was Yes Minister (and then Yes Prime Minister), Some mothers do 'ave 'em, Are you being served, 'Allo 'Allo and Porridge. The "mega-serial" monster was just beginning to bite moms & dads on all the regional channels (resulting in the ultimate downfall of Star Plus as well), so I didn't get to see all these sitcoms all the time.

I got Porridge & borrowed Yes Minister from Sujay, so I'm having a good time watching one episode daily. The books Yes Minister & Yes Prime Minister are must-haves, for the quality of writing is brilliant with some of the most elegant puns I have ever encountered.

Going back to the sitcoms, I have thoroughly enjoyed the likes of the brilliant Blackadder (now that's what revisionist history should be like) and Fawlty Towers among others. The BBC has a detailed list (link) of all its comedies and it was interesting to note that Only Fools and Horses was voted its best ever comedy. (Link to the top 10)

Makes you wish that we had a rich tradition of interesting comedy on our domestic TV circuits as well instead of the phoney & poorly derivative stuff whose only purpose is to provide employment to laughing jackasses on their soundtracks.

And that's why you don't walk

From Cricinfo's bulletin of today's match:

"Kaif had survived a vociferous appeal for a catch behind early on – Gilchrist had words when he didn't walk"

Taking the word of the correspondent (as I didn't see the match - boo hoo), I wonder if Kaif didn't ask Gilchrist to go and stuff himself. I am a huge fan of Gilchrist, but here he was way out of line. No need to expect others to walk if you do it, that too only as a personal policy that even most members of your own team are loath to follow.

In the end, every run made a difference and if Kaif had not let the umpire do his job, India would have lost. Perhaps Gilly was just a little frustrated with the pitch and possibility (then) of defeat in a tight match. Mike Brearley in his Art of Captaincy spells out the difference between "walking" and "claiming a catch falsely" and he is right.

Year of elections

I guess elections happen in various countries each year but this year was easily one where several high profile elections took place. The world's largest democracy in terms of population, the most influential, two of the biggest nations by area, some of the most controversial and other nations, big or small.

This year we had India, Canada, Australia, the US, Malaysia, Indonesia, Afghanistan, Sri Lanka, Russia, Nauru, Spain, Tunisia and if we consider it, the European Union.

Care for a smoke?

Anyone driving down Senapati Bapat Road in the evenings will notice the pallor of smog hanging heavy all around. Usually noticeable in winter, but this time it has been more pronounced than I can remember despite the surprising rainshower a day ago. The area is now the focus of intense construction activity on the roads and with the massive office buildings coming up, so there is a heavy penetration of dust all around.

I suppose everyone feared this was going to happen with the rapid expansion gobbling up open spaces all around the area and the pounding pressure of vehicles pouring onto the University Road from the 4+1 roads leading into it. The neat stretch of roadway, the uncluttered spaces in parts of the area and walk-worthy hill are more memory than reality now. Despite being prepared for this given the signs, it still makes you wistful now that it has actually happened. Being a hub of IT infrastructure isn't worth the cost from some angles.

Double Double-you

Despite a book, a movie and several other efforts by Michael Moore and colleagues, Bush is President and the Reps won almost every major contest by a margin. Probably all his virulent opponents succeeded in doing was to awake several of the dormant Republican faithful and get them to the booths.

The message I take from the election results (not being affected nor influencing it directly) is one of hope. Look at this: a man who was a proven failure till about a decade ago in all that he attempted (plus a drinking habit to boot) in the final analysis is now a two time President of the most influential country in the world, and he did it relatively easily in the end. It's a lesson in sticking out there inspite of all the setbacks in life if nothing else. Of course, it helps to have lots of money, influence & a set of high ranking relatives, but it's also a question of fortune. Which even history will not be able to deny that POTUS #43 had plenty of that.