(written on a prompt on a writing group - "convince me that this pig deserves to live")
Winston Churchill once said: "Dogs look up to you, cats look down on you. Only pigs treat you as equals."
So my friend, there's not much that separates you and me. Don't go by the exterior (yours, not mine). We all know the filth you are capable of wallowing in. Perhaps it is a sign of my much-acclaimed intelligence that I refuse to hide it under cloth and cover, polish and perfume, bath and beautician.
Philosophy comes as naturally to us pigs as pork. Keep me on the other side of your plate and we can write a best-selling self-help book together. I even have a title: "Bringing home the bacon".
Shall we shake hands and oink the agreeement?