A small screen view of celluloid

Judging by the first set of trailers for the film that gets a direct entry to the numerologically-affected-fillmm hall of fame, Krrrish (is that three "r"'s or less? I never can tell) is being sold as a pot-pourri of Baywatch and The Matrix.

For as Chandler Bing memorably said about "Baywatch" - "they're running!" which is what Krrish does a lot, and with bulges too, just like the people in red used to. As for swirling black capes from a collection of rows and columns, Srikkanth junior is perched on a tekaDi doing that too.

*** One of the recent trends in Hindi pop cinema is to make use of the word "hot" as if it was a two-minute sachet of er0tica while merely conveying the effect of a scalded potato. While Priyanka Chopra makes offers at either end of the temperature scale in "aaiTraaz" (spelt as pronounced in the kitsch-friendly trailers and underlined as "the most controversial film ever"), Ms. Lion-a-what? spoils the already cold effect in "Shaadi Se Pehle" by following "I'm hot/forget-me-not".

Remember a rule-of-thumb in a share-a-vat like delivery: if they say it's hot, it's going to be not.

*** Here's something from yesterday's TOI that left me clutching my stomach and giving impressions of a barrel tossing on stormy seas. One of the routine gossipy news items informs us that Shah Rukh Khan is reported miffed with Ram Gopal Varma for working on Nishabd with Amitabh Bachchan rather than on the film (Time Machine) they were supposed to do together. It also tells us:

Apparently, the rumours started when RGV made some digs at Karan Johar's SRK's starrer Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, saying he wanted to see Karan's film because he loved horror films.

Interesting, RGV doesn't deny this, merely stating that Johar and he had this joke going on for a while and neither of them minds. But that's why some of us think RGV rocks, and he has my vote even if his films have derailed in the last couple of years. *** Remember KANK? No? Well, you had better get used to it. Say it a couple of times: KANK. KANK. It did come as a blow to those who predicted K4-something as being Johar's next, but news is that Ekta Kapoor and Rakesh Roshan have left no K tiles on the Scrabble rack. KANK it will be then. My blog is going to have a lot of hits starting in a few months for saying KANK, KANK, KANK.

Time to say goodbye?

*** The earlier news item about RGV means that he has slipped a little in the ongoing contest with Shekhar Kapur to announce the most films without actually shooting any. Though Kapur loses some points in the game by announcing last week that he is pulling out of the "Buddha "project, he still has a lot more announced-but-will-never-bother-to-film movies in the bag such as "Paani" and "Elizabeth II" (the sequel dummy, not the current queen).

##Announce## karanaa zaruuri hai.

*** This emerged in a little chat with George while discussing the surfeit of "stars" in the next Vishal Bharadwaj adaptation of a Bard play, Omkara. I think a fantasy pairing would be Rajnikanth as Othello and Kamalahassan as Iago. Of course the day after the announcement, the production would keel over and die because of the hype.