Do Stone

The inauguration of this year's "Pune Festival" was hijacked by Messrs. Shatrughan Sinha and Rahul Bajaj (political motives aren't too difficult to locate though) who raised the pothole issue. The whole thing tends to be a bit of a Suresh Kalmadi show, so I am sure there was discomfiture all around. But then Mr. Kalmadi doesn't really have much of a leg to stand on, given his views that the roads in the Queen of the Deccan are not that bad as we make it out to be.

This and earlier statements have made me wonder if our Hon. MP has been taking President Ahmadinejad's correspondence course on denials. (Though not as grave of course but the situation is a bit of a hole-o-caust when experienced on a daily basis.) Soon, as levels of his proficiency improve, the MP's smooth-talk will potentially go places. I also wonder about his vision - does he possess a unique quality that renders all serrated surfaces as smooth? So here are some typically (for these pages) absurd futuristic scenarios if in case the market for "Asian-Afro" and other games collapsed:

1. Our man becomes the PR frontman for a much-maligned acne-removal cream company whose product is showing some unnecessary side-effects. When confronted by a particularly rash member of the paying public, our man says: "Acne? What acne? I can't see anything"

2. Our man joins his new business associates for a round of golf/pool. "You said I had to hit the ball into the hole. Hole? What hole? I can't see anything"

3. The Americans are back on the moon and are about to land. Flight Commander Neil Louis announces as he walks down into the crackly radio-waves: "The moon is just as we left her. Small craters continue to form as small meteorites rain down" Suddenly the airwaves record an interruption: "Craters? What craters? I can't see anything"

4. Darrell Hair finally thinks he has it. Summons the captain and the errant bowler. "Ah mate: see this surface all roughed up by artificial means?" A tap on the shoulder. It's the man again. "Roughed up surface? What roughed up surface?"

Silly and absurd, I know, but blame it on the few times there was cranium-grey cell contact due to the bituminous absence below. And as for the post title, well, a literal translation of the surname into his native Kannada (with some slight liberties) produces that suggestive output.