Jan 12, 2003

Cellphones are considered to do lots of strange and invisible things to your heads: the threat of radiation is a topic which medical journals turn to when they're not going to get the promised article of "Rhineatic Parakinesis in the human liver". Just another ailment that plagues the already hypochondriac yuppie. But I have a theory: that mobile phones are good for the ones who wield them, all made from excellent observation.
Beep, Beep or maybe the strains of a popular Hindi tune is heard and the mobile phone user reaches out into the deep recesses of his pockets. It is his call. What he does next is what I would like to draw your attention. No sooner is the cellphone neatly positioned in the palm (and here is the physiotherapic observation), the person rises and starts to walk! Often in the direction of the nearest balcony or some such open space where fresh air (actually fresh carbon-monoxide enriched imitation air, but hey, this is the city! We'd die if had some of that poisonous oxygen-mix that those country bumpkins inhale.) This combination of walking-fresh air breathing is exactly what doctors order, and it comes free with cellphones! Self-Reliance, eh?
Another corollary is that mobile phones in theory do a lot of damage or support to Newton's theories (depending on which scientific cult you belong to). It has the awesome property of reversing motion into rest & rest into motion. We have seen how the mere beep can set a body (often heavy) into motion, and theoretically, while these bodies are in motion (relatively, as the bikes under them do all the motion), the sound is enough to halt their progress on the straight-line path to inertia. But of course, the traffic department introduced what is now known as the M.A.M.A variable: "Morons are Morons always" factor that causes most motor-borne cell-carriers to believe mobile phones are best used in transit: it is believed one-handed steering results in best network reception. This has also resulted in huge financial gains for both cell-companies and the traffic constables tea club.

So mobile phones can, as a shampoo ad states, get you to "Get up, get going".

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