Jan 30, 2003

"When things are not going the way you want them to, you think of all those adages, those stories, those experiences of things having got better even after more serious problems and put up a brave face. Then something comes along and breaks that composure, and the dyke gives way. At such times, it is probably better to let the flow remain unchecked, let the pressure subside. Questions to which there are no answers, the same questions that one has asked before in the same despairing rhetoric, rear their head: a lot of Whys preceding each one. Sometimes, it is too much and the hope of "all for the best" seems too fantastic to be true presently. I shouldn't have exhausted my stock of luck, and sadly I'm not nice enough not to be envious of those that are in places I want to be. Not because I know that is a great place to be, but because it seems to be a great place. Take the bull by the horns, do something about it, screams a part of me, but there are too many timid neurons afraid to relay the message. The train approacheth, albeit in slow-motion, but that is still too fast for me to pull my leg out from where it is stuck in the rails. A yank in the right manner, or divine intervention? who will make it first? or will they even bother? do I have it to will the pull?
Whatever the case, right now is not a good time to be me."
-The not-so-secret canon of B. Wisenheimer

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