Faux News - III
"He's giving me nightmares!" confesses Shoaib
By Pradeep Journal-Bandookwala
The Rawalpindi Express has had a not-so successful series against the Indians so far, both in the One Dayers and the just concluded Test match. What's more, he now seems to be suffering psychological injuries that can only be worrying for Pakistani coach Javed Miandad and captain Inzamam.
Speaking exclusively to Faux News, Shoaib Akhtar revealed for the first time the severe mental scarring he sustained in the last few weeks, in particular the torment he has been facing from Indian all-rounder Lakshmipathy Balaji. "I cannot believe that I have been carted about the park by him as if I was Brett Lee" said the Pakistani paceman. Further he added "I have trouble sleeping at night. I have visions of him dancing down the pitch and heaving me over my head for six". Moreover, Shoaib has had no answer to the Chennai Charger's deliveries while batting himself - Balaji has also claimed the speedster's wicket in the series. "I can still see him grinning in my dreams", he said.
This revelation brought muted reactions from the Indian camp, but former Test player Navjot Singh Sidhu, no mean deadly grimacer himself, claimed to have passed on a few tips on the art to a willing student. "He has the chuckle of a crazed hyena!" said the former opener of the lanky bowler. Shoaib Akhtar has reportedly approached Aussie psychologist Sandy Gordon for some professional advice and has been seeking some help from Shane Warne who had suffered a similar condition a few years ago. However, cricketer turned politician Imran Khan was irritated by Akhtar's public confession and said that the current Pakistani coach had given similar troubles to Chetan Sharma. He lamented the state that the talented Pakistani players had got into but still considered them as good, if not better, than the Indians.
Akhtar had hoped that Balaji would be left out of the Test squad for Multan with the return of Agarkar & Kumble, but his inclusion has evidently caused the Pakistani spearhead further loss of confidence. A triple ton from Sehwag & a near double by Tendulkar spared him of another run-in with his nemesis, but there still remain a potential four innings for the fastest bowler in world cricket. The scoreline now stands at 3-0 in favour of Balaji.
Jest like that!
Q: To what has the Maharashtra Government attributed the current mood of prosperity and the increase in sugar & oil production?
A: The tiL-guD factor!
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