The Beast is here, where is the first party?

I am informed by my sources that the small garage/office/room in the ground floor of my apartment is to become a Beauty Parlour in its latest avatar. Whether this will lead to a general improvement in the milliHelen count of the local air is yet to be seen. Having never been fortunate enough to reside in the same vicinity as the latest moisturisers and assorted skin creams, I will, in the spirit of scientific enquiry, also observe if the combined mH values of the incoming and outgoing traffic shows any trends that can be captured in an equation.

I have read my last sentence above twice, and yes, it is now starting to look like a good excuse in case my increased lingering in the balcony comes in for comment.