Page 0.33333 Personality

It has been said of the social circle of people like me that if it were any smaller, the theory of singularities could be explained away as emanating from the party life of one of us, thus causing both great consternation and relief among physicists. It has also been well observed that were I in a zoo (as hoped for in certain quarters), I would definitely not be in the cage labeled "party animal", simply because: (a) I don't throw parties (b) I don't know too many people who do (c) most of my friends follow (a) and (b). Thus we form an almost perfect closure of the set. Not that it really bothers me that much, for my idea of happiness doesn't depend on the number of invitations at hand.

But into the depths of each frog-in-the-well, some rain must fall and adding to the profusion of concocted metaphors, when it drips a little, it pours. For the last several weeks, I have been to a variety of social affairs. It seems to me that the period of May-June is usually one to usher in a series of arrivals and farewells, and changes in conditions. This year, a rash of product releases and picnics have also coincided with the same, leading to an steep increase in the number of paneer dishes consumed.

The reason for all this reflection is that a murmur has been oveheard from certain regions (principally across my cubicle wall) as to the possible augmentation of my Page Three Quotient. Hilarious though the suggestion was (as intended), it set me thinking. What if the local rag had clicked this writer at one of these events? What would the captions state? At the blah-blah show, JR and a couple of happening friends. Blue jeans are the flavour of the season, R shows off the latest from J's gallery. Ray sips a quiet drink by the poolside. JR chats up a PYT. That exercise in tabloid copywriting apart, in reality, the caption would most likely read: Dishevelled JR in off-ghaaN sweatshirt looks sleepy again while chatting to himself.

Why the title "Page 0.3333", the mathematically inclined among you dare to ask? Because I'm the inverse of a Page Three Personality.