Faux News - 12
World tires of T20; "World B-Out Bout" begins today
Mar 3, 2016, Beijing
The ICC Bowl-Out Cricket World Cup starts today in Beijing with a match between China and France. The organisers hope that the championship will revive flagging fortunes of the sport around the world, especially in China, after the shock exit of the home team in the Twenty20 World Cup last year.
It took 100 years for people to get tired of Test cricket and 30 years to find One-day cricket odious, so it is fitting that Twenty20 has fallen out of favour in just 9 years (figures from our statistician and scorer).
The Chinese team has just one player from the team for the Twenty20 World cup, who also captains the team. Talking of his as-yet unknown players, Bao Ling said: "we have two players who were spotted on the streets of Canyun, playing marbles. We have decided to throw the blokes into the deep end as they can hit the deck hard and have a big ticker and can aim for the top of off-stump like a tracer bullet." Their English coach, Ravi Shastri, was seen with arms folded, giving the boys a special work-out on pronouncing "edged and taken!"
World Cup Final today; Millions forget to watch
Aug 29, 2019, Armstrong Base, Sea of Tranquility
Today was the Grand Final of the ICC Cricket World Cup. Here's what the captain of the Indian team had to say before the match:
"I'm very confident about my performance today. I have been in good form lately. My wrists are nice and supple and I have been regularly practising my thumb-flicks. There was a scare involving my index finger because of a paper-cut I picked up yesterday, but thanks to my physio, all is well. I could easily pass the fitness test today."
That was the Indian captain speaking exclusively to us before walking out to the middle to toss. He tosses, the Israeli captain calls "Heads" but it's come down tails, it is tails, it is tails! India have won the first Tossers Cricket World Cup!!!
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