Days like these

Days like these

In the world of dates, the 1st of Jan is a genuine superstar. Everyone loves it, they dream about it days in advance, they roll out the red carpet in anticipation, they put on their best and pop a bottle of the bubbly. They're in love with the idea of starting anew and saying to the old: "out, out, damned spot".

Which makes me feel sad for Dec 31st. Perhaps Dec 30th is even worse off - at least people look forward to the evening of the 31st. To people, they're stale reminders of the last 360-odd. People just want to get through them - ooh, I can't wait for the Eve's evening, they shriek. Wonder if people who are born on the 31st of Dec wish their parents had shown a better sense of timing and could've just waited another day before their eyes twinkled. Do they complain: why me, mom?

Anyway, with thoughts like these, I realise that with each passing 31st Dec, I become more and more like the orbit of Pluto, i.e. eccentric. Do I demand a Festivus for the rest of us (or the restive-us)? - I don't know. But here's me, biting into toast, thinking of poor ol' 31st Dec, as the weary day gives way to the dazzling youngster ahead who knows not what lies ahead. Thirtyfusst for the restofuss!

"A Study in Emerald" - Neil Gaiman

"A Study in Emerald" - Neil Gaiman

George, bless him, pointed out this story (A Study in Emerald) by Neil Gaiman in a comment about my previous post about Gaiman.

Now, I used to think of Gaiman as a niche fantasy writer whose exploits were limited to graphic novels that some seem to be great fans of. Indeed, what I know of him has mainly come from Sud and Kunal S, who brought their love for the likes of Gaiman and Pratchett to the BC.

But reading "The Day the Saucers Came" and "A Study in Emerald" has completely changed all that. So bowled over I was by the Holmes pastiche that I re-read the story 3-4 times and was mesmerised by the effort. I have read a little bit of the Sandman series, but this definitely merits a much more careful study of the man's work.

Let your hair down

Let your hair down

Strike while the hair is long. (on how late-night celebs are taking the forced break caused by the Hollywood writers strike to let their hair down.)

The languages of Pakistan

The languages of Pakistan

A very nice post on Language Log about how the variety of languages in Pakistan have been suppressed, ostensibly to carve a single national identity. An interesting stat quoted there was that according to their 2001 census, Urdu is only the 6th most spoken language (presumably first language, as the %ages add up to 100%) of the top 7.

My perception based on what we see of Pakistani officialese, media coverage, and politicians-cricketers was that Urdu was the most spoken language, which means at least outside the country, the state-sponsored promotion has worked well.

As noted in this post ("napunsakalinguistics"), I know a few people who think Urdu is a preserve only of the muslim community and thus not meant for "us". If the Pakistani stats are true and if such a sentiment can be quantified, it can be further argued that Urdu belongs more to "us". Luckily, I also know people who have fallen in love with the language and have not shied from sharing this affection with me. Having recently obtained a nice Urdu dictionary and being able to finally make sense of some gems-é-"shayarii" and some Hindi film lyrics, I can only agree with their point of view.

Man, Byte, Dawg

Man, Byte, Dawg

Shiv Sainiks attacking M F Husain exhibits is so cliched. The day when M F Husain attacks Shiv Sainiks, let us know.

One more down

One more down

That's a lot of Bhuttos wiped out in 28 years. Pretty sad for a country to have this sort of thing going on.

Missing Mood Indigo

Missing Mood Indigo

Suddenly realised that I am missing Mood-I, after two consecutive years of soaking in the crowds, the pronites, the sideshows, the quizzes, the transplanting of BC quizzing to IIT-B for four days, the word games, the music, the December cool of the campus.

A Tear for memories of 2005 captured then. Pity I didn't record much of last time.

Twiddling thumbs for Jodhaa Akbar's music

Twiddling thumbs for Jodhaa Akbar's music

The wait for the music of Jodhaa Akbar seems to only get longer and almost interminable. There isn't much clarity as to when exactly the soundtrack will make its way out into the open. Matters are not helped much by the second teaser trailer featuring a song called "jashn-e-bahaaraa", which sounds delectable.

I have found it exceedingly hard to follow the music of Vishal Bhardwaj because he always seems to fall outside the mainstream distribution channels, but when that also seems to happen regularly to India's premier music director, then one wonders what is going on.

Meanwhile, in a revival of the rumblings, the controversy surrounding the provenance of Jodhabai has resurfaced on some TV channels. The murmurings that some chronicles do not seem to record Jodha as Akbar's wife came as a surprise to me, especially after NCERT books and Durga Khote's cinematic dilemmas. Expect this only to get louder as the film's release approaches - perhaps riots, bans, politics will ensue as has become par for the course now.

The Day the Saucers Came'

'The Day the Saucers Came'

I had no idea Neil Gaiman could write this type of verse as well. Superb.

(thanks to Abhishek for link)

The not-so funny castrato - revisited

The not-so funny castrato - revisited

Earlier this week, I had made an indignant post about the BBC reporting a story about humour and gender. Turns out the same Language Log I had been trying to imitate had already posted about this "news item", noting correctly that the source for the news article was a spoof article in the British Medical Journal, so there was nothing to really worry about (i.e. I was right about being sceptical.)

But the speed with which the meme has been picked up in news outlets around the world (see same LL article for several links for examples) should be cause for concern!

Horror-ible joke

Horror-ible joke

Q. Why did the Tamilian pay extra to get the horror movies TV channel?

A. Because it was a "pay channel".

Previous Tam-friendly bad joke.

The not-so funny castrato

The not-so funny castrato

The folks at Language Log routinely complain about how bad the science reporting at the BBC is, pointing to several cases of over-generalisations, bad summaries, misinterpretations and so on (an example). I found one such case myself, where this news article, headlined "Humour 'comes from testosterone'" and subtitled "Men are naturally more comedic than women because of the male hormone testosterone, an expert claims.

Reading the article, it seems that the "expert"'s method was to cycle around the streets of Newcastle upon Tyne on a unicycle and document reactions from people. Based on his observations that most of the men recorded made snide comments, while the women were kinder. Without even getting into the merits of this approach, I'd like to point that hardly do smart-alec comments translate fully into "humour", in its wide and varied forms. Does this take the 'expert' all the way in explaining away why males have more of a tendency towards humour? There is certainly no excuse for the assertive tone of the headline.

BTW, I must say that in my own small (perhaps non-representative) world, my experience has been that males are more likely to indulge in language-oriented verbal humour. I have observed female participants in this activity, but the numbers have been considerably tilted the way of the gender with the testosterone. But I would hardly venture a theory of aggression to explain this, which is perhaps why I'm not quoted in the science pages of the BBC!

(A cursory search reveals a lot of interesting links on the subject)

A School for Scandal

A School for Scandal

It has been brought to my attention that there seems to be a college called the "J. Ramanand Girls College". Now, this is potentially just misuse of nomenclatural rights online (i.e. someone's taking the mickey out of me) because the only place it seems to appear in cyber-space is in this wikimapia annotation. Zooming out (a lot), this seems to be situated near Jhansi.

The sinister-ness of this link is still under question - or has someone seen the greatness in me already? Could I be the youngest in history to have a girl's college named after a real-life person? I wonder, I wonder.

M. Palin, Salil C., Polyushka Pole

M. Palin, Salil C., Polyushka Pole

Was watching Michael Palin's "Full Circle", a typically engaging travel documentary featuring "the nicest Python". I this series, Palin is traveling around the Pacific Rim, and one of his first stops is in Russia. He befriends a Russian who sings a popular folk song called "Polyushka Pole" - Palin records this and eventually gets to sing this along with a naval choir in Vladivostok.

Now this song was immensely familiar. The reason? It has the same tune as "Dharti kare pukaar ke" from Bimal Roy's "Do Bigha Zameen", scored by Salil Chowdhury (also recorded at I2FS). The original Russian title seems to be literally translated as "Meadowland", which seems appropriate. The song also is said to appear at the beginning of "Castaway", a fact which seems to have escaped me (remember Fedex employee Tom Hanks in Moscow at the beginning of the film?)

Salil Chowdhury, in addition to being a great man of creativity, was also a communist, and his political leanings would have provided access to Soviet culture as well, hence explaining the roots of this famous Hindi film song. Did he acknowledge the inspiration - I don't know. But it's not just Awara and Disco Dancer that went northwards - some of it came south as well.

Extrapolating...

Extrapolating...

Left for the Day --------> Right for the Night

Watch out for the whole Hogg

Watch out for the whole Hogg

The touring Indian cricket team would have cheered had Stuart MacGill found some way to stave off an injury-related operation. The legspinner, long considered the "best understudy" in cricket (a completely overrated claim, IMO), not only bowled his customary one four-ball per over versus the Lankans in his most recent Test series, he sometimes bowled two per over. A score of 400 in a day is easily attainable with MacGill tossing down 30 overs in a day.

In contrast, his replacement, Brad Hogg is harder to deal with. I agree with Ponting when he says Hogg is not so easy to pick. Kumble has said that the Indians think the Aussies have a weak link in the spin department, which is true (some what), especially given the very large shoes of a certain blond cricketer before. But this Indian batting side has had its share of trouble with left-arm spinners, from Ashley Giles to Paul Harris. Of the two left-handers, Yuvraj Singh is not the best against spin, which leaves the in-form Ganguly and the ever-aggressive Laxman to perhaps attack Hogg. Tendulkar in particular needs to watch out for Hogg.

Baba Bangaali Inc.

Baba Bangaali Inc.

Marginal Revolution had a post about a new firm called Stick where you can set a goal as well as the consequences for not achieving it. Since I had recently seen Anurag Kashyap's "No Smoking" (about a man who signs up with a mysterious agency designed to help smokers quit with bizarre penalties), it seemed very similar to the idea - only you voluntarily set the outcomes.

Thought it would make an interesting kernel for a story. I then read the comments on the above post, which mentions "Quitters Inc." (Stephen King) which has been cited as the basis for "No Smoking", and also another related book called "Kill Me" (Stephen White). I guess the David Fincher-Michael Douglas film "The Game" also visits similar territory.

As a (structured?) procrastinator, I find this whole concept very fascinating!

Watching Vishal Bhardwaj - a Blog

Watching Vishal Bhardwaj - a Blog

I suppose "start a blog" is a reaction to many problems. For the last couple of years, I have become aware of how difficult it is to follow the movies and music of Vishal Bhardwaj, given that he has no website or media channel to go visit. Assuming there are others who feel the same way, I've gone and started a blog to collect links about forthcoming Vishal ventures. Additionally, it should also serve as a place to write some more about Vishal achievements of the past - let's see.

George has been closely (and commendably) following the man in the news, as readers of his blog would know. He should be joining me on the Vishal blog too.

The blog can be visited at this link.

An embuggerance and D'Ball

An embuggerance and D'Ball

1. He has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The news was officially announced on the website of one of his collaborators. In an interview published there, he, in characteristic fashion, quaintly called the fact "an embuggerance", said he was mildly optimistic about his chances, and said that he hoped it would not interfere too much with his next couple of books. He also appealed to his fans to not ask him how they could help, because they couldn't, unless they were some sort of brain specialist :-). Who is this writer?

Ans: Terry Pratchett

2. Last week, Luke Pomersbach became the latest Australian to represent his country in international cricket, playing a T20 match vs NZ. The call up came in strange circumstances: he had been recently suspended by his state side for some alcohol indiscipline; he had come to the stadium with his girlfriend to watch the match, and suddenly found himself the recipient of an invitation to play for the national side. This was because another player had suffered a back injury in the dressing room an hour before the match began.

So Pomersbach was issued the kit of that player and found himself batting in the last overs of the Aussie innings. Now, we know that the Aussies have their nicknames on their shirt-backs in T20 games (Church for Gilchrist, Roy for Symonds etc). Pomersbach had "D'Ball" on his shirt (the name was shortened for lack of space).

So the question: whom did he replace and what was the full nickname of that player?

Ans: Brad Hodge, "Dodgeball"

Boy, cook ten

Boy, cook ten

I'm unwell and my mind is febrile. Needed some diversion, so decided to mess around with my orkut profile (I love-hate orkut, btw). I have noticed people updating various fields on their orkut profile, and since I aim to be inscrutable and enigmatic, I'm unable to reveal with any honesty, such trivial details about myself. Juvenile humour is the next best thing, so a sample of what I've been upto:

Headline: "He's Out!" or "Dewey Defeats Truman!"
turn offs:: ignition, light, and other electric switches, right turns, turnstiles, turntables, turner classics, "turn turn turn" by The Byrds
my idea of a perfect first date: January 1st. No wait, November 1st. No wait, July 1st. Damn, 12 choices, all so tempting.
from my past relationships i learned: to read, to write, to do mathematics, to eat, to drink, to walk, to tell time, to point
five things I cant live without: air. water. food. neurons. muscles.

The books of Christopher Priest

The books of Christopher Priest

I have a post about the books of Christopher Priest, one of my favourite writers of recent times, on the community Lit blog.

Some, like, it hot

Some, like, it hot

There are days when I find myself, like, due to people around me, lapse into an occasional like. If you do too, then heed this and don't sound stupid.

From Language Log

Weekend, summarily

Weekend, summarily

Most hectic weekend in a long time. Must... blog... no... time... sneeze... throat itch... passing out... grasp for keywords...

Saturday:

taLjaai, morning air, conversations, COEP, quiz, more quiz, even more quiz, shabrii, loins of tandoor, laugh till death and resurrection, landmark, moser-baer, hunt, find.

Sunday:

khoya khoya chand, tickets, home, call, pt. bhimsen joshi, lunch, dash, ramanbaug directions, flawless approach, just in time, mobile transmissions, conversations, even more lunch, rasoi, the baby with the digitus impudicus, lolling before the storm, dust, hangman, sudha raghunathan, maamiis, people, maate malayadhwaja, vaataapi gaNapatim, tea, more tea, rahul sharma, vijay ghate, conversations, music terms, morsing, even more morsing, back rests, lambii khaamoshi, pattice, familiar people to avoid, more pattice, watching the sky, sleep, photographs, the sky again, conversations, the belchomatics and meeting the fart-ernity, laugh guts out, L Subramaniam, the wait, the wait, gyaan, plucking with the pinky, ambi, applause, magic skill, time to go, shivering, feet and head uncovered, unresponsive ignition, 15 mins to house, end of day's play. Monday:

cold, cough, a bad day.

Dystopian vision

Dystopian vision

It's 2037. You are sitting alone, watching the world go by. Thoughts flit in and out, it's a free market and a flea market. You don't raise a hand to stop them. Your mind wanders dangerously. You think of Hindi film songs of the past. You stop. He comes to mind. You're thinking of Himesh Reshammiya's music.

Now the question is: what word describes this feeling?

The answer: Nose-talgia.

The Calling

The Calling

You said you'd call. I haven't gotten anything done in the last couple of days because of that.

You spring up all out of nowhere. I haven't seen or heard from you in a year. Not in real life, anyway. But suddenly you write to me. "Hey little lolpop", goes your email. "Send me your number. Will call asap."

I haven't gotten anything done since then.

I write back within a minute of reading it. I conceal the bubble of excitement that's sprung inside me. "Hi A! My number's ...". I send it. I forget to ask you your number. Obviously, I can't make international calls - well, I can, but think of the hassle! But if I knew what your's was, I wouldn't feel the hammer inside my heart when I hear my phone go and see an unfamiliar number backlit in green.

But you don't call. You said you would. In fact, no one has called in the last three days. For three days, my cellphone is conjoined to me. I make no move without it. I switch it off when I take my bath - I don't want to risk you calling when I can't pick up and leaving me a trail of your attempt. I reckon this way you'll try again and not assume I'm too busy to take your call (I'm not). (Oh god, did you call when I had it switched off and did you assume I was too caught up even to keep my phone switched on?) I could have emailed you again, but then can I, do I, should I assume I have the right to smother you with my desperation, my craving? If only you'd call and if I had the guts to ask and burn your answer on my frozen self.

Where are you? What are you doing now? You have my number. Unlike the phone, my life's on hold here. Call me.

It's a week now and the gravity of my situation is slowly dawning upon me. How does one describe seven days spent simply reacting - to sounds, to movements, to voices (mostly inside). I look at it objectively and I realise I have made demands and expectations of you that were unjustified. You clearly have a life and you have no right to cause any suspension of anyone else's. I'm downgrading the alert level. Thanks for this week - my mind has grown in the tepid vacancy of waiting for something to happen, while it was happening all along. Thanks - for not calling. I couldn't have done this with you.

Which is when you call me. "Hello!", you say, in your sunny tones. It's been a barren week. I have spent it clinging to an edge and I had finally let go. "I'm so sorry I couldn't call you! It's been so weird here - you have to hear all about it. First, tell me: how are you?"

You said you'd call. You have. You actually have. "Hi", I whisper back shyly, completely failing to conceal my bubbles.

Confessions of a JBJ fan

Confessions of a JBJ fan

Ok, I admit it: I liked the movie "Jhoom Barabar Jhoom". Anyone who has been at the receiving end of several of my raised eyebrows when it comes to "their" choices in films is welcome to liberally use this fact against me.

I must begin by first admitting that despite a fondness for Shaad Ali and Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy and Abhishek Bachchan, I was all prepared to hate "Jhoom...". It was a Yash Raj Film, it had the likes of Bobby Deol and Lara Dutta, there was all this hype, the faux-accent of Preity Zinta in the trailers. But come opening weekend, this film got pummeled, and "Sivaji the Boss" even superseded the hype-meisters themselves. I was chuckling.

Two things then happened: I read Baradwaj Rangan's affectionate review. With roughly the same affection for it, George told me JBJ was actually worth a watch.

One way of dealing with a Yash Raj flop is to say it must really have been bad for it to dive (recall the arithmetical n'n's'nse called "Neal 'n' Nikki"). The other is that the movie might actually be good. I recalled the cheeky humour of "Bunty aur Babli", and set out to watch JBJ.

It was silly, but it was, undeniably, fun. Like with Bunty aur Babli, I could see myself switching in any point in the first half of the film and enjoying proceedings. Piyush Mishra was brilliant. Lara Dutta's French accent was a revelation. Bobby Deol's schizophrenic performance was 'cute'. AB and PZ were ok, but the chemistry hit heights in the songs. And what choreography!

The picturisation of Bol Na Halke Halke alone would have been worth the price of admission. Simply mindblowing. I rewound the inspired fading of the Taj Mahal from reflection to reality a million times in my head. The Coolie reference, the Humayun ka Makbara, the streets and roads of Delhi, the Yamuna and the Taj showing that the Mani Ratnam film genes in Shaad Ali Sehgal were asserting their influence, the masjid-gurudwara sequence bringing together both sides of Shaad's parentage, the all-encircling camera - all in one unforgettable song that demands applause for Vaibhavi Merchant, Ritesh Soni, and Ayananka Bose.

Baradwaj revisited the film in a typically brilliant article about musicals doing badly. I haven't seen any of the other films, especially "Jaan-e-Mann", which is supposed to inhabit the same space as JBJ. I don't know why very few people liked "Jhoom...". The second half was not so great, but the cheekiness and interesting-ness of the script that was accused of being story-less kept me hooked. A major crib was the director completely ruining what could have been the in-joke of the season: by unnecessarily drawing attention to AB-BD on a scooter by playing "yeh dosti...". If only he had let it go by silently - it would have been that much more satisfying to those who'd have noticed. "Bunty aur Babli" also had a "yeh dosti" moment, so Shaad, next time, a little more understatement please.

The JBJ experience has somehow changed me. I have been confronted by my biases. I realise all this movie-liking business is not so easy after all. Anyway, I'll leave it to "AnaiDaa" to have the last word. As she puts it eloquently (with a little help from Monsieur Gulzar):

no, no, monsieur, no, no, itnaa simple nahii.n, chal dafaa ho kahii.n

The Martyn Puzzle

The Martyn Puzzle

It's been a year since one of my favorite players, Damien Martyn, pulled down the shutters on his career, surprising fans like me, not to mention shocking his own teammates and well-wishers.

Will Swanton examines some of the ironies that Martyn has left behind in his wake. Nice article. Hope you're doing fine, Marto.

Keeping quiet

Keeping quiet and remembering Garrincha

Have conducted 5 quizzes in 5 weeks, so understandably, I'm a little of tired of standing in front of people and pestering them with questions and more questions. I was actually hoping to take it easy the last couple of months, quizzing-wise, but the bug just keeps biting hard. A maun-vrat is perhaps in order.

Anway, today, a bunch of us were at ACES 2007, and at the end, we started talking, as we usually do there, about the ESPN Sports School quiz. This was probably my most favorite competitive TV quiz show, because of the superb participants, the hosting of Harsha Bhogle, and the nature of the questions (trivial, but fun). It wasn't the fairest format, but it made for great viewing. It's a huge pity that the series stopped, reportedly for lack of sponsorship.

We have a couple of former ESPN school quiz winners and participants at the BCQC and in Pune, and they have done much to raise the profile of quizzing in their respective schools and cities, and to raise the profile of their own schools and cities in the rest of the country. We have Aniket whom we all remember as the little kid from Rangubai Junnare, Nasik, Suvajit from DPS Farakka, the team from Birla High school and so on (some of them have graduated to the senior open circuit and still do very well).

And of course, there was Abhinava Vidyalaya and the Rohits, Bahulekar and Chandrachud. Even before the episode had been telecast, I knew from Salil that the school had won, but that didn't rob me of any excitement of actually watching it go right down to the wire in the last final. No non-East Zone team had won it upto that point. Harish, Samrat, I and others would keenly keep track of teams from West Zone, such as from Pune, Nasik and Bombay, and knew that they had the potential. Esp. after seeing Aniket and the Rohits in the previous year of competition.

Finally, "Garrincha" sealed the win for Abhinava and Pune. Still remains my most favorite quizzing moment.

The 2007 Scientific Indian Story Contest - first prize

The 2007 Scientific Indian Story Contest - first prize

Selvakumar Ganesan runs a website and blog called The Scientific Indian. He also conducts an annual science fiction writing competition. He has kindly chosen my story, called A Story in Blue, for the first prize.

It came as an unexpected surprise because I had never written anything of this length before, and don't consider myself well-equipped to write science fiction. So it was just for a lark that I sent in this entry. Also, I have never ever won any real prizes for my creative writing, so this was great news :-). Congratulations are also in order to the joint 2nd prize winners.

I have been thinking a lot about religion from a personal point of view recently, and this was a nice way to explore some of my mental threads. If you happen to read the story and have something to say, please do write to me.

The return

With Aaja Nachle, it's only fair to say that Madhuri Dixit's back... is back.

(Haven't seen the film, but have heard the mixed and lukewarm response. Interested in the movie not because of la Nene, but mainly to see what Jaideep Sahni has come up with.)

Cutting glass mein bawwaal

Cutting glass mein bawwaal

"I will not watch a cricket match in future", says Shah Rukh Khan. Well, two simple things:

a. Intelligent man that you are, Mr. Khan, you must admit that it is sort of a big coincidence that you started showing up at all these India matches just before and after your movie (which you also produced) was released. Plus, your latest co-star was always in tow. You had not really been seen like this earlier. What are we to think? If you had said "haa.n, maine ye paap kiyaa hai, cricket ki muhabbat ke khaatir", nothing would have been amiss. Go ahead and promote your movie, irrespective of what people like me say - it's your prerogative to do so.

b. BCCI: you may forget this, but you have a sport to run. It doesn't get affected by which cinestar shows up. In fact, I'm surprised that the Lalit Modis of the BCCI, who have dollar signs embedded on their retinas, have not spotted another financial opportunity here. Strike a deal with such stars, whose movies are going to soon be released. You can easily charge ten bucks more per seat if you let people know in advance that a Shah Rukh is going to show up. It will also help in recovering some of the money that is routinely lost in giving VIP passes to all and byes-legbyes.

Still, even if the king of chess pieces resolves not to watch any more cricket, may we suggest taking a leaf out of Pete Sampras' book, who spoke for many of us yesterday when he said: "I just stay home and watch Roger win on television." (not that many of us were thinking of coming out of retirement.)

'Rahul' is back

'Rahul' is back

Since I don't remember the theatre in Bombay where I saw the Sunny Deol starrer Arjun (my first ever in front of the big screen), I consider Rahul Theatre in Pune as the place where I first saw films. Since we didn't go to many films then, it was an uncommon treat of sorts to go to Rahul for a Sunday matinee. I particularly remember watching a lot of classic Chaplin films, including The Gold Rush and One AM.

Later in life, when we came back to Pune, Rahul (along with the likes of Mangala) was still at the top of the pecking order when it came to city theatres. DDLJ was watched there. Soon, each college morning for 4 years, Rahul would be on my way to COEP. The two listed movies for the week would have their names spelt out in block letters outside (just one, if it was a real blockbuster). A particularly fond memory was seeing the names Satya and Hyderabad Blues unchanged for several weeks in 1998. Even then, I remember realising something had changed in Indian cinema. I also remember watching Lagaan soon after the exams that concluded our COEP stint in 2001.

In a couple of years, the multiplex revolution had swept through the city, led by City Pride, and followed by Inox. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers was the last movie I saw at Rahul. Soon, the 5-screen E-Square hungrily towered over Rahul next door and that was the end of Rahul. For about two years, Rahul has been under construction. There was no announcement outside and it wasn't clear (to me) whether the place had been sold or was being refurbished or was changing professions. Last week, I saw Rahul open, without any fanfare, now apparently a little multiplex of its own, with at least two screens. This means it has gone the Mangala route, and can perhaps survive a little with the benefits that a multiplex can claim.

Whether this will make any real change to its current position - I do not know. The difference was stark in the last days: the service was ordinary compared to the new waves of "plush service" around us, and no wonder that the mall-tiplexes of the city have magnetically drawn people towards them. Still, a little crumb of nostalgia survives. I wonder if they still serve the expensive cabbage-stuffed little samosas. Does anyone know?

Richie's rich wit

Richie's rich wit

Commentary during the 1st Test between Australia and Sri Lanka at Brisbane, a week or so earlier (paraphrased):

Richie Benaud: It was here that Jonty Rhodes made his spectacular run-out in the 1992 World Cup, diving into the stumps. I think it was against Pakistan.

Ian Chappell: I think it was Imran that he ran out.

Ian Healy: Um, it may have been Inzamam.

Richie: In that case, it may not have been that spectacular.

The great man was joking, of course. It was a photographer's delight, as is obvious. (A report of the incident).

Harry Potter and the list of seven

Harry Potter rankings

I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (book kindly made available by the vegetative Irishman). Felt that the tying up of the ends was satisfactory if not spectacular. I think the endless waiting, all 400 pages of it, for them to get out of the tent and do something, got to me. The last 200 pages went in a rush and a whoosh. I must confess to turning the pages hurriedly when that happened. Alas, the fact that I had read the sixth in the series 2 years ago meant I did not get a lot of the references and continuity, and was too bored to look it up. Perhaps, this explains the slightly tepid reaction.

Anyway, Stephen King wrote a far more peppy defence of J.K.Rowling, which makes a great read in itself.

A disclosure: I started off feeling a little snooty towards the Harry Potter series when it first made the bestsellers' lists. 'Twas the third book that made me a bit of a fan (I even raised my hand as a Harry Potter fan on saturday at the Comics quiz :-)). But before the fans get cocky on having scored another point, here's a personal ranking of favourites in the series:

1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
3. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

A journeyman speaks

A journeyman speaks

One of the Headingley 2002 heroes, Sanjay Bangar, has a nice little post on playing for traveling on the Indian Railways. (link courtesy: friend Arun K.) I hope he won't mind me calling him a 'journeyman'.

If you like train journeys, read these accounts by Shamanth and Salil.

A slightly geriatric prodigy

A slightly geriatric prodigy

Happy Children's Day to you too. I'm celebrating the day by reading Champak, that too in Marathi (courtesy a kind friend who probably recognized that my actual age is far different from my chronological age). After a small teary-eyed nostalgic note to wonder where my entire collection of Champaks and Tinkles and Chandamamas disappeared, I move on to my main topic of discussion.

Everyone who knows me agrees on one fact: I am no child prodigy. It can be safely said with some amount of confidence that I shall never be one. If you could be a child prodigy whose talent was hating child prodigies, then it may have been me. I grew up a little disgruntled at these child prodigies, especially musical ones. There, they would point, look at him - he's a child prodigy, they said. Implicit in that accusation would be a minimisation of the talent part and a maximisation of the dedicated/hard-working/sincere part.

But with the passage of time and with the benefit of years, I am no longer threatened by child prodigies. I am able to consider them with avuncular eyes (whenever the eyes are not busy doing un-avuncular things). I saw a special "Children's Day Special" (sic) on CNN-IBN, which featured a chess player, a young girl whose a female Tathagat Avtar Tulsi of sorts, and "Keyboard" Sathya, who's made a name for being particularly adept at playing carnatic classical on his keyboard.

I have time on my side, and the competition is either dying by the roadside or has just given up. In about 40 years, I'll have the last laugh. I'll be a slightly geriatric prodigy.

No, wait, that's A.K.Hangal, about whom (with all due respect to his fine work, especially in Hrishikesh Mukherjee movies), it can be safely said, in the immortal words of Lakshman "Lucky" Prasad Sharma: "woh to paidaa hote hi buDhDhaa ho gayaa".

The long tail

The long tail

In addition to recording that he finds one-day cricket boring (and I agree wholeheartedly), Harish also wonders which channel to watch for the old and almost forgotten movies.

I think the situation is still not as bad as the music scene where sadly, most TV and radio presenters and producers cannot see beyond the late great R.D.Burman (mostly, I think, due to their own ignorance). I'm still impressed with the catholicism of Zee Cinema. If you can get past the never-ending ad breaks, you can enjoy films from a range of genres and themes. Mithun and "Mixed Doubles", Raj Kumar Kohli and "Makdee", "shanivaar ki raat amitabh ke saath" to "somvar ki raat something ki laat" (the Rajnikant dubbed movie fest - anyone know the actual name of the series?). The only problem is the timings - you never know when you'll stumble on a good one.

Then there are the likes of Filmy and Sahara One and the really, really bhuule-bisre movies channel. Between them, they do a decent job. Just keep surfing.

Music from the heavens

Music from the heavens

Khoya Khoya Chand

We must be pardoned for being excited about the return of the trio of Sudhir Mishra, Shantanu Moitra, and Swanand Kirkire, after the melancholy magic of "Hazaaron Khwaishen Aisi". Their latest paean to movies of the Dev-saab era is nicely titled, though I still prefer the previous title "Bahut Nikle Mere Armaan".

The music is a refreshing throwback to the sounds of the likes of S.D.Burman. Though, I found some of the songs (and singers) a little underwhelming, and not very memorable (yet). The attempt is praise-worthy though, and seems to capture some of the lilt of those times. The standout songs for me were the title track, a thumri called "Chale Aao Saiya.n", and the opening of "Thirak Thirak".

Swanand Kirkire takes up the mike for a very rough-edged "Khoya Khoya Chand" with great effect, capturing some of the moods of "Baawra Mann" that he so effectively rendered last time. The "sitaare noch luu.n" bit seemed a little jarring, but overall, the lyrics are quite wonderful. Shreya Ghosal with "Chale Aao Saiya.n" is excellent, as is the song itself. It has a very nice ebb and flow. The leading percussion of "Thirak Thirak" is very reminiscent of "Hotho.n Pe Aisi Baat" and is terrific on its own, but the rest of the song never quite lives up to the promise of the song, though the sargam that outlines the title track is pleasing.

In his review, Raja Sen mentions that Moitra yet again uses an old English song. Assuming this is true, I wonder why Moitra does so, spoiling his scorecard each time. Unless this is an underhand dig at how, even in that so-called Golden Age, many of our hit Bollywood songs came from sources.

Since the other songs also do have many elements of interest, this album is worth many a listen.

---

Taare Zameen Par

Rounding off this season's astronomically-inspired film titles is Aamir Khan's first-as-director (somewhat appropriately, like the other 'perfectionist' before him did with "Chachi 420", he took up the baton displeased with the results of the earlier director). Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy provide music for this, and return to "Rockford" territory. Prasoon Joshi, who like Kirkire, has provided hope for the lyrically-minded listener, does a good job along with the trio.

A simple but different-sounding album, punctured slightly by the need to insert some nonsense lyrics in some of the songs, is what results. (The Vishal-Gulzar combination still is safely top of the pack when it comes to songs of children-centric films.) My own favourites from this album are the title track (sung with feeling by Shankar Mahadevan), the guitar-laced "Kholo Kholo", and the quietly sentimental "Maa".

In a very nice touch, the music was released at the hands of the ailing Shammi Kapoor. Again, worth giving your time and attention, this album.

---

And at the risk of jinxing it, the wait for the music of "Jodha-Akbar" grows more intense with the trailers and "Marhaba" playing.

Joke fit For-a-khan

Joke fit For-a-khan

Where the slum-dweller went after watching the latest Shah Rukh release:

Home, Shanty Home.

My heart is beating, at 24 carats per second

My heart is beating, at 24 carats per second

Q. Why did Zaphod Beeblebrox visit the Bollywood Brothel?
A. Because he'd heard the members there each had a "Heart of Gold".

No filmi scarlet women played by an actress who earns more than 10 lakhs per film can have anything less than a heart of pure gold. Rani Mukherjee in particular seems to have amassed so many gilded hearts that even after selling a few to Ashok Saraf, she still has a couple left over for any urgent heart transplants.

This has naturally made all filmi step-moms angry: why is that we reputedly have hearts of stone while these ladies of the night get all the gold, they ask (and with reason). What happens to the reformed streetwalker that the filmy dad brings home to introduce to the children as their new mum? Does she have to have a change of heart before she can cross over the threshold?

The portable gymnasium

The portable gymnasium

In a (very long) article on intelligence testing, James Flynn writes:

The best chance of enjoying enhanced cognitive skills is to fall in love with ideas, or intelligent conversation, or intelligent books, or some intellectual pursuit. If I do that, I create within my own mind a stimulating mental environment that accompanies me wherever I go. Then I am relatively free of needing good luck to enjoy a rich cognitive environment. I have constant and instant access to a portable gymnasium that exercises the mind. Books and ideas and analyzing things are possessions easier to access than even the local gym.

If only we who teach could make more of our "subjects" fall in love with ideas. Then we would have truly effective interventions.

I thought this passage was one to think about and internalise.

"Eternal Sunshine of..." Hang on, I've forgotten

"Eternal Sunshine of..." Hang on, I've forgotten

My newest day-dream waiting to be turned into a profitable enterprise is this: remember when you watched The Others, The Usual Suspects, Memento, The Prestige, The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable? If yes, you do remember, then share with me your teardrop of misery.

For when you watch these films again, you know what's going to happen. You will hopefully discover a new layer, relish the little post-revelatory hints that the writer has strewn along the path, marvel at the ingenuity. But you will (and you should) miss the feeling of surprise that hit you when all was revealed. [Especially if this intellectual 'climax' was originally satisfying, you didn't foretell the twist too early, nor did you have to go sheepishly to someone asking to be enlightened.] It can happen only once - never again, ever again.

Which is where we at Hakuna Inc. step in. Come to us within a week of watching such 'twisted' films. Studies have shown that until then, your mainframe of a cerebral cortex defers moving such short-term memories to its long-term store. In fact, most of its batch jobs happen at the end of a 30-day cycle. Our patent-pending Leonard procedure will help terminate critical memory fragments leading to almost 95% erasure of such good memories (according to studies performed on a captive audience of ushers). This leads to nothing more than a vague sense of déjà vu, which is usually explained away as an allergic reaction to black cats near by.

A couple of days after this procedure, someone will come to you with a recommendation for this cool, new, movie-with-a-twist. You slip in the DVD and settle back. A couple of hours later, you've just had the time of your life. The movie ends with an ad for Hakuna Inc. For when you watch these films again, you know what's going to happen...

Oh so-so question

Oh so-so question

For a recent quiz, I made an audience question. It's not a very remarkable question, but I enjoyed the process of creating it. I was travelling back home by bus, when someone switched on a little lightbulb somewhere. I asked myself: could it be possible that they both happened in the same year? I was reasonably sure about X, but not about Y. Y would have happened a few years earlier. Excited about the possible coincidence, I hurried home and checked a few websites. What a coincidence! Both had happened in the same year. What are the odds of these two unconnected events happening in 1980, only to be linked together 27 years later? You know you're a trivia-fan when this causes you to skip a beat.

At any rate, here's the question:

1980 was a good year

+ X’s greatest moment came in this year
+ It was an Indian first
+ Liem Swie King was the final hurdle

+ Y was an obvious reincarnation of a 1975 Hollywood film
+ One of the top films of that year
+ Kishore and Rafi both received Filmfare nominations
+ The music directors won a Filmfare award

Events of November 2007 seem set to eclipse the above two

Identify X, Y, and their current relevance.

I didn't know both Kishore and Rafi had received FF nominations - another superlative bit of trivia waiting to be discovered, in relation to the "current relevance".

It just gave me a lot of joy. Sad, isn't it?

Update with answers

As some people correctly wrote in/commented, X: Prakash Padukone (winning his All-England crown), Y: the film Karz. Incidentally, Kishore Kumar was nominated for the song "Om Shanti Om" and Rafi for "Dard-e-Dil", both of which are referenced in the new film.

Staying (VISA) power

Staying (VISA) power

A storm in a pyaalaa: the Pakistani government is upset that one of its ministers has been denied a visa to watch the next India-Pakistan cricket match. The tiny fact that there's an emergency on at home seems not to have dampened the enthusiasm of the minister. Or this is just a routine act of mischief by the said minister, who's quite the figure in such matters. Strange are the ways of statecraft.

Paper 2

Paper 2

I thought it was time for a post in which I don't complain or moan :-). A paper, based on my M.Tech work, has been accepted at the Global Wordnet Conference 2008. My earlier paper had only a section from me, and was more in the nature of an interesting observation. Whereas, this one is based on my own work, which is nice, and is a little teeny-weeny drop of addition to the body of knowledge of the world.

Hasn't affected my Erdos number in any way, though :-). It's time to go look for an agent, so that I can get my own Bacon number.

The selection gave me a splendid chance to bug all my classmates by composing a large faux-hindi/urdu announcement and short their mental circuits. Was worth all the pain of writing the drafts :-)

Saturated and Fat

Saturated and Fat

I've noticed in the last couple of Saturdays that I've ventured out on the streets of Pune, that the roads seem totally saturated. The working crowd is out, paying bills, depositing money, shopping. It resembles those square jigsaw puzzles with 8 blocks and one free place, which allows you to move the other pieces into position. There seems empty place just for one vehicle to step into ahead and wait for the space to come around.

What happens when the n+1-th vehicle shows up?

The nearest main road is still undergoing cement concretisation. When it's done, cars can speed on both sides. I have to cross that road each day in the morning. How will I do that? There will soon be no natural reason for motorists to slow down. Should I invest in a cane and con these people into giving me a bit of the road, one square at a time?

There is a cycling path on the same road, on both sides. This is not as bad as I thought it might be. It is made up of those interlocking tiles (a digital road) that is in vogue these days, but the surface is not too rough. Unfortunately, sometimes the path has a big drain cover taking up real estate, forcing me to get onto the cement. But overall, it's decent.

I'm planning to retire too

I'm planning to retire too

... from cricket. Perhaps the day the little lad a.k.a the great man heads back to Bandra for the last time, I'll symbolically switch off the TV. I just don't have it in me anymore.

Flash back to the late 80s and the early 90s. I watched every bit of cricket I could. I grieved when we lost (a lot). I learnt the meaning of the word 'exhilaration' when the Indian team won. There wasn't much in between. For a long while, my best moment in life (that's right, my own personal best) was India winning the Hero Cup in '93. Even at that age, I knew that personal highs lay far into the future - this was both an act of patriotism as well as an act of pure love (or so it seemed). As late as 2003, I was bitterly disappointed to have to travel to Ireland and in the process miss most of the World Cup. In the pre-cable days, I have spent standing on top of the sofa by the window to peek into the neighbour's TV to catch India v England in England. I loved the BBC commentary on radio. I was like that only.

I was also fortunate to see the Sachin era from start to finish. The Dravid-Ganguly-Kumble follow-up and the Azhar prelude bracketed it beautifully. I may have missed getting the most out of Akram, but I followed Warne, Rhodes, Gilchrist, the Waughs, the short-on-talk-only Windies and Brian Charles, the Flowers blooming along with the Zimbabweans (perhaps the most saddest story in recent cricket history), the natty New Zealanders. And so on. You know it's the nostalgia trip.

But I just don't identify with this team, or even with world cricket much more. There seems to be no flair whatsoever around, and there's not much on the horizon. What Bobby Simpson fears the most is happening pretty rapidly: teams aping Australia with a rapidity that is disastrous.

My friend Roshan will be pretty happy with my weariness: he always considered cricket to be a waste of time, a productivity-slaying-devil. It's just that there are so many things to do, and cricket isn't part of it. There must be other sports to watch, other passions to learn and be part of. I prefer watching arbit county cricket or Pura Cup action on the telly - guilt-free and zero emotional investment. Or play me replays of Warne switching on his array of headlights on some hapless South Africans and Englishmen. Will probably watch some of the Tests in Australia because I love watching cricket early in the morning. The promise of it all just hooks me. The rest of the day never lives up to it.

Sachin: tell us when you're going. I'm coming too.

Ye hoos

Ye hoos

An article about the fining of ICICI for hiring hoodlums to extract money notes that

"Holding the ICICI Bank guilty of "unfair trade practice," the Commission termed such miscreants as "yahoos" and said they are boorish and a brutal lout (sic), who care a fig for legal and judicial authorities, including the Supreme Court."

Unless you're an avid reader of Swift or a quizzer who has encountered this before, you are unlikely to know that "yahoo" can refer to a member of a tribe that Gulliver encounters during his travels. As the wikipedia article on the topic notes that the tribesmen are "vile and savage creatures, filthy and with unpleasant habits". It's unusual to see this usage, especially given that in this WWW age, the ! has completely taken over. One linguistic point for the Commission.

Green and white

Green and white

I'm just following 'current affairs', naturally. By now, all of us, voluntarily or forcibly, know that lady Kareena and the cub scout of the Pataudis are "together" (one report said: "they bonded over yoga" - which is an interesting choice of words, because one of the principal meanings of 'yoga' is "to join or unite" - but let me stop defaming the ancient practice by relating it to tabloid news there).

Anyway, what I want to draw your attention to is: did you notice that finally, after hundreds of years of trying to put one over Othello, Iago finally gets Desdemona?

All hail the baahubali.

Parade Charade

Parade Charade

Each time there is political turmoil in one of our states (currently, the laughs are on in Karnataka, but each state takes turns), a "dishshen" to "parade the MLAs in front of the governor" will be taken. A headline appears next day to the effect.

This turn of phrase always intrigues me. A theatre of the absurd is hurriedly erected in my mind. I can see hard-working Raj Bhavan employees rolling down miles of red carpet. Soon, the MLAs, herded by the Chief-wielding-a-Whip, make their way. Like restless schoolchildren, they are made to line up beside the red carpet. They wait, and they wait. Some may even faint in the hot sun. Soon a flutter - the governor's here! The guv'nor walks down the carpet, taking his time. He picks out some random Hon. Member of Legislative Assembly. He looks at him head to toe. He moves on. The random MLA sighs in relief. Another member is picked out. This time the 'mahaamahim' addresses him. "Didn't I see you in a parade last time too?", he asks. The MLA nods. "Sir, that was a different party. I got a better offer here, on-site opportunities, a bungalow." "Good, good", says the rajyapaal. At the end of the line, he turns to the leader of the legislative party. And nods his assent. But what is this? a rogue MLA, a traitor belonging to the opposition, raises his hand behind the unsuspecting governor and yells "yeh sab kyaa ho rahaa hai"...

At this point I wake up. The absurdity censor has demanded a cut. "Too absurd", he declares.

"Whodunits" - BCQC November Open 2007

"Whodunits" - BCQC November Open 2007

I'm doing an open quiz this Sunday called "Whodunits". The detectives theme is more than incidental and seems appropriate for an intellectual exercise such as quizzing. Anyway, I think it might be fun (mostly), so drop by even if it goes against your better judgement. All the details, complete with noir poster, below:

The BC Quiz Club will be organising an Open General quiz on Sunday, the 4th of November, 2007.

The details:

"Whodunits"
Date: Sunday, 4th Nov
Venue: Dewang Mehta Auditorium, Persistent Systems Ltd. (see this link for directions)
Time: Prelims start at 1 pm sharp, so please report by 12:45 pm
Flavour: General
Who can participate: anyone; it's an Open quiz; Entry is free
Format: Prelims + Playoffs + Finals for 6 teams
Team Size: 2 per team
Conducted by: J. Ramanand
Prizes sponsored by Landmark, Pune
Contact:
email: contact@bcqc.org
phone: Ramanand (97642 58560), Harish (93733 04910), Salil (98231 12258)

Here but there

Here but there

There's so much to write about: the travails of following Vishal's music when it releases, a hey! to Johnny G still pending to be noted, RSA winning a World Cup for the 2nd time and England actually making a final again, my potential retirement from cricket (no!!), panthers at IIT and the resulting linguistic deep fry, and learning to keep my mouth shut while setting a quiz.

All this is on hold due to some upcoming quizzes to be done and a paper to be made camera-ready and so on.

Math for snakes

Math for snakes

When did "maths" become "math"? I hear a lot of people say and write "math", (short for "mathematics", not as in the "Ramakrishna Math") these days (especially at IIT-B). Have school teachers started using this term too?

Nothing really to get upset about, but still, it makes me uneasy. More subliminal American influence? I can see, since the cult film, how you started saying "may-trix" instead of "ma-trix" (as in good old Matric-pass). Perhaps you converted to "skedule" after watching "The Apprentice". But how did you drop the "-s" from the abbreviation? Pray tell.

Keepers finders

Keepers finders

Is the first time that both the captains of two ODI sides in a series are also the wicketkeepers of their sides? Perhaps this is a question for Steven Lynch.

Latest scientific survey results in

Latest scientific survey results in

A recent survey shows that when you read my blog, it is good for health.

My health, naturally.

An enlightened government finds itself in the alphabet soup

An enlightened government finds itself in the alphabet soup

Next time, I'm voting for the DMK in Maharashtra. They have such wonderful policies. Take their latest: declaring bandhs on the one working day between a Sunday and a National holiday on a Tuesday. Such benevolence and concern for their subjects - brings tears to my eyes.

Sadly, the Supreme Court (I believe you've got to use the word 'honourable' before the words lest you offend them) has just struck this admirable proposal down.. I suppose the argument is that: "why should Tamil Nadu have all the fun?"

I hereby call a bandh tomorrow to protest the lack of bandhs here.

Lovers of depression

Lovers of depression

"In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant. My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known -- no wonder, then, that I return the love."

:: Soren Kierkegaard

Previously on this blog by the same man.

Get in line - the madness continues

Get in line - the madness continues

Now, Pankaj Advani says: WTF. Meanwhile, the Kerala govt. rewards Robin Uthappa because Mrs. U hails from Kozhikode - one may describe it as her stew-and-appam days.

And finally, the Andaman and Nicobar Islands sends a cheque to Dinesh Karthik, for, well, being the nearest rewardable cricketer, geographically speaking.

Goons in Burma

Goons in Burma

Myanmarese crackdowns can wait, for Ponting's just issued a challenge.

Every friend who's been to the US speaks of how the media tends to be very insular, with the canonical cat-up-the-local-tree being more important than say a tsunami in India. For the last couple of days, the international media has been headlining the recent upheavals in Myanmar, and the reactions of India, being one of the key nations in the area, are being keenly watched.

Only we can't really tell if there have been any reactions. Today, Indian news channels are all about the upcoming cricket series against Australia which starts on Saturday. I couldn't see the Burmese agitation being part of even the top-5 headlines of most channels; that is, if they were not talking to cricketers about how they won the championship ("they batted, they bowled, they fielded").

Perhaps, if considered important enough, we should reality-TV-ise news itself, however redundant that may sound. Vote for the Burmese monks or the junta. Whoever wins gets the country - the Wikipedia article for Burma will be updated accordingly, so that at least for ten minutes, "reality" will triumph.

So 'Saawariya' is "inspired". What else?

So 'Saawariya' is "inspired". What else?

[...] even this hot-shot director whose name begins with S, as does the title of his upcoming big-budget film that is coming, soon, to your friendly neighborhood multiplex.

[...] But when our directors lift plots wholesale from masterworks of world cinema [...], they are hailed as hit-makers or, in the case of 'S', as visionary directors who wear black to awards functions and glory in their cutting edge 'creativity'.

(from this article) Any cinephiliac monkey with an IQ over 50 can tell that 'S' stands for Sanjay Leela Bhansali: so much for the subtlety of Rediff's anonymous prose. But one doesn't think this was meant to be subtle.

To be fair to Bhansali: the Italian film (Le Notti bianche) cited as the original of his latest "Saawariya" is in turn from a Fyodor Dostoyevsky story (credited in that film), so it is not necessary that he has ripped off the film; he could claim the story as source. We do not know yet whether the Man in Black has duly credited it himself. However, given the lack of attribution in Black, one is inclined to nod in favour of the Rediff writer.

I suppose the larger point is this: remake and reuse by all means, but do not, as filmmakers here unnecessarily do even in this internet age, attempt to hide this fact. It is a feat even to execute a remake efficiently. However, claim originality and you deserve mud on your fine velvet robes.

A tense situation

A tense situation

A familiar meaning of the verb tense is "to become nervous, or uneasy" (definition courtesy WordNet), with its noun form as tension. In English, one would use these words in a sentence as:

"I became tense as I saw the dog with the foaming mouth approach."
"There was a lot of tension among the members."

So far so good. In day-to-day Hindi, we use such borrowed words instead of say "tanaav" or "tanaavgrast" (CFILT) as:

"Geeta bahut tense lag rahii thii"
(literally: 'Geeta very tense looked')
"aap kyo.n tension lete hai.n?"
(literally: 'You why tension take?')

However, from what I seen on Tamil television, the colloquial usage there is stranger. Instead of using the verb form "tense", people seem to use the noun form "tension". Like:

"nii yEn tension aaharai?"
(literally: you why tension become?)

In Hindi, you would say: "tum kyo.n tense hotii ho" ("why do you become tense?"). But to become "tension" itself - now, that's weird. I never hear "nii yen tense aaharai?", nor can I remember hearing the "why do you take tension?" version that one hears in Hindi and Marathi.

I wonder how this began, and what it is in the Tamil grammatical structure or language that has caused this to happen.

Pass the ball around

Pass the ball around

The Indian hockey team is understandably miffed at the (predictable) outpouring of largesse for the Indian cricket team. I have no qualms with Commerce, with one unwavering eye at the return-on-investment column, showering its gifts on any product that it sees as being investment-worthy - their money, their choice. However, criticism is completely valid when it is a question of maharaja-like patronage being showered by politicians dipping from the state coffers. It is a commercial act for them - to be associated with events that enjoy the greatest eyeballs, and gain something from their "benevolence" by being in the same frame. I suppose other sportsmen could do with a hoarse shout or two too.

It is a sad state of affairs all-round: what positive effects this week has on Indian cricket remains to be seen, forget Indian sport. Sure, hockey is not a patch on the marketability of cricket, even in the latter's leanest periods, hit movies notwithstanding. For a nation that still has hardly any real sporting culture, and therefore no real appreciation of sport, masala will rule.

Non-recursive viewing

Non-recursive viewing

Isn't it strange that in none of the big TV soaps (get 20% extra foam) do the characters themselves watch TV? They don't even seem to possess a TV set in their palatial houses.

It would be fun to have a TV series in which all they did was watch TV and make disparaging comments about proceedings.

Lock him up

Lock him up

The magpie-meister, the cine-cannibal, the hit-and-run expert Priyadarshan now turns his attention to Manichithrathazhu (1993), which despite some of the plot holes, was a richly atmospheric film by Fazil. It's a much beloved film that we often see at home. I shudder to imagine what Priyadarshan must have done to it. The film, which won Shobana a well-deserved National Award, has already been remade in Tamil as the Rajnikanth vehicle "Chandramukhi". A pity because the original was not centered around the Mohanlal equivalent, as a Rajnikanth film must inevitably be.

Still, the unspeakable horror that is Bhuul-bhulaiya beckons movie-goers. Extremely irritating lead song has done nothing to assuage matters.

Faux News - 12

Faux News - 12

Faux News bulletin

(You know it's time if it's faux pas nine!)

World tires of T20; "World B-Out Bout" begins today

Mar 3, 2016, Beijing
The ICC Bowl-Out Cricket World Cup starts today in Beijing with a match between China and France. The organisers hope that the championship will revive flagging fortunes of the sport around the world, especially in China, after the shock exit of the home team in the Twenty20 World Cup last year.

It took 100 years for people to get tired of Test cricket and 30 years to find One-day cricket odious, so it is fitting that Twenty20 has fallen out of favour in just 9 years (figures from our statistician and scorer).

The Chinese team has just one player from the team for the Twenty20 World cup, who also captains the team. Talking of his as-yet unknown players, Bao Ling said: "we have two players who were spotted on the streets of Canyun, playing marbles. We have decided to throw the blokes into the deep end as they can hit the deck hard and have a big ticker and can aim for the top of off-stump like a tracer bullet." Their English coach, Ravi Shastri, was seen with arms folded, giving the boys a special work-out on pronouncing "edged and taken!"

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World Cup Final today; Millions forget to watch

Aug 29, 2019, Armstrong Base, Sea of Tranquility
Today was the Grand Final of the ICC Cricket World Cup. Here's what the captain of the Indian team had to say before the match:

"I'm very confident about my performance today. I have been in good form lately. My wrists are nice and supple and I have been regularly practising my thumb-flicks. There was a scare involving my index finger because of a paper-cut I picked up yesterday, but thanks to my physio, all is well. I could easily pass the fitness test today."

That was the Indian captain speaking exclusively to us before walking out to the middle to toss. He tosses, the Israeli captain calls "Heads" but it's come down tails, it is tails, it is tails! India have won the first Tossers Cricket World Cup!!!

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Manorama - six thumbs up

Manorama - six thumbs up

(note: I suppose only Gary Sobers or Hrithik Roshan can even begin to approximate six thumbs up.)

Hopefully, some more coherent thoughts will follow later, but just do yourself a huge favour: put on your sunglasses, get your scooter/motorbike out even though the neighbours disapprove, leave the dusty trails behind, pick your wallet out, throw away the photo of your better-half (or -quarter as the case may be), pull that Rs. 100 ka note out, and buy yourself a ticket of Manorama - 6 feet under.

Probably the best film I've seen all year, and one for the all time list. Seriously. God Promise. (and don't read any of the reviews, good or bad. Especially the good.)

Biis ka biis

Biis ka biis

Well done, Indian cricket team - for serving up a really good final and for winning. Poor Misbah ul-haq - had two chances in two matches, and got Klusener-ed again in the end. Perhaps, 10 years later, he will coach the Pakistani women's cricket team to a World Cup win. I guess at age 33, you will be coming to I*L. If that happens, you'll probably be facing the last over of a match with Zulu at the other end.

Perhaps the men grinning the most in the world right now are Subhash Chandra and Lalit Modi - their Leagues are now officially "on". The cuts to Shah Rukh Khan took away the sheen with the yes-the-emperor-is-in-attendance waves (anyway, this is why Lalit Modi and Rajeev Shukla "play" the game).

Perhaps I'm the only one thinking of Sachin Tendulkar on this occasion: another reason why you are the unluckiest genius the world has ever seen.

aur kut nahi milaa?

aur kut nahi milaa?

I see there is a website called Gokut, which if I had to guess on pain of death, looks like a Indian social networking website (how innovative). Is that the best name you can come up with? Here are a few suggestions: ya-kut (if you are being literal), AND-kut (an inclusive name for the techie crowd), or simply aur-kut (acknowledging that you are "aur ek orkut").

Defending Twenty20 and me

Defending Twenty20 and me

At today's BC quiz, I was accused of looking down upon the Twenty20 form, which is contrary to my stated position. So I use this, my blog, to set the record straight and remove this horrid blot from my name, so that at least the three men and Montmorency reading these words will know my story. This, my friends, is my story.

I like the format - it makes eminent sense, especially given the miasmic pits of boredom that the 50-over game has unfortunately fallen into. The best batting display of this year's ODI season actually came in a 20-20 match - Adam Gilchrist's astonishing, I-was-privileged-to-watch-that-live(on TV) innings in the World Cup Final. Here is a format that unabashedly promotes the excitement that a cricket match can generate, trying to leave the middleman (i.e. the overs from 15 to 40) out. There's none of the defensiveness that the middle format has laden cricket promoters with.

And contrary to fears, it has not all been a slogathon. In fact, I'm more tired of 50-over slogathons such as that 400+ chase and some of the matches in the subcontinent - there you watch it for 100 overs. In contrast, here, the hitting ends in a compact 3 hours. Additionally, the success of two of the least experienced sides in this format in the Twenty20 tournament has been due to their all-round games. Otherwise, you would have had South Africa and West Indies in the finals. The creators of the format, New Zealand and the Englishmen, have not quite distinguished themselves. The Englishmen have been a right bunch of nincompoops, actually.

It's a pity that the final will be played at The Wanderers, which more than any other ground in the world, has aided the slam-bang-wallop nature of the shorter formats. Durban or Capetown have seen more wholesome matches, the kind which even the pundits can enjoy if they only opened their eyes a little wider. Some of the cricket writing has been disappointing, with media men shaking their heads at proceedings, saying it's not the game we know and that a cricket match must have the time to showcase its nuances and strategies. That's still possible, sirs, but in a Test match. As I wrote before, the T20 format will possibly strengthen the Test format at the detriment of the ODI form, as the contrast is sharper and you can get a bit of both worlds in them, but separately. All of this until we someday perhaps tire even of this!

At any rate, the main reason for not watching the India-Aus semi completely was because I had a headache. Surely, this is a valid excuse with most love affairs :-)

Oh, and that other bit. This is not a World Cup. It cannot be 1983, 'cause it's not a World Cup. The ICC don't call it so, that's why. I don't see why it should not have been a World Cup, but then it just isn't. Recall the World Championship of Cricket in 1985, which India won beating Pakistan in the final. That wasn't a World Cup too. (But as a friend remarked, it will be one, like it or not, if India wins!)

Why is it a peeve? Because, like "2000 is the millenium", pedantry is sometimes important. Just because 95% of the world says X is Y, it doesn't have to be, especially if it's the media who, blindly or otherwise, fuel it. Being a quizzer, one learns to respect facts.

A bush in the house is worth two jokes to everyone

A bush in the house is worth two jokes to everyone

Poor Dubya. He (or his ad lib script-writer) makes one decent, intelligent comment and hardly anyone gets it. Worse, he's accused of being a moron (again).

Bush said:

"Part of the reason why there's not this instant democracy in Iraq is because people are still recovering from Saddam Hussein's brutal rule," Bush said. "Sort of an interesting comment, I heard somebody say, `Where's Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas."

... and some nutters started calling up to remind everyone that Mandela is indeed alive. We know that, you blockheads. Have you ever heard of the concepts of "speaking metaphorically" and "figuratively"?

I learnt of this from the Times Now news channel, which if anything, has proved that it is indeed possible to have a purported IQ below that of Dubya's.

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby

I have always heard great things about Ruby, but never got a chance to sample this object-oriented programming language with the sparkling logo. Today, I did, without having to even download and install. A very cool online command-line simulation exists here, where you can take a 15-minute tutorial and get introduced. What a wonderful way to promote the language of your choice!

Some more pain and gain

'Short-term pain for long-term gain' is Anand Vasu's summing up of the Dhoni situation. He suggests that the selectors "... must give him the time and space he needs to grow into the job." One hopes the selectors, led by a Chairman who's has a syndicated column in which he is more than happy to take shots at his own team, can take this piece of advice.

Additionally, perhaps there is one more thing Dhoni can do (or be allowed to do) to ease the pain. Drop the 'keeping gloves. He has never been a great 'keeper and he is, when it comes down to it, more important to the Indians as a batsman. In a couple of years, the inevitable move up the order will become permanent (surely to the opening slot on the flat-as-Panchgani-tableland pitches). India have never really had a full-time keeper-captain, and it never really seemed to work for anyone else either - there is way too much of a workload. The pragmatic thing would be to simply hand over the slot to Dinesh Karthik (who has proved that he has the ability) and move into a slip or mid-off. Dhoni'd do himself and his team a favour.

Mero galaxy kaathaa paare

Mero galaxy kaathaa paare

I've been residing there for quite a few years now, but I don't think I have actually "seen" the Milky Way. It's not easy, what with the visual pollution around and the fact that I mostly stay indoors and sleep during show time.

But it was quite a show, according to the ancients. A band of pearly white across the sky is, if you think about it, on par with a glorious sunrise on the horizon. So it is a pity that I've only seen the low-resolution bits of stars independently winking back. It's almost a "ek chiDiyaa, anek chiDiyaa" fable.

Friends who are into astronomy and do "stargazing" inform me that the Akashganga can be seen, if you can get away from all of Edison's devil progeny. One could die without having ever gazed up and seen the light - quite a scary prospect.

Exceedingly Dumb or Exceedingly Clever

Exceedingly Dumb or Exceedingly Clever

There's an ad playing the airwaves advertising a test ride for the Zen Estilo which apparently guarantees the crash dummy a prize of some sort. The ad keeps hammering the "no hidden small print, no catches, all hunky-dory saar with a cherry on top" theme. At the end, it signs off with "conditions apply". Eh?

Update: Dhammo has been subjected to it too.

Whacko phrase of the season

Whacko phrase of the season

Hat's off to Farah Khan - she does have guts. "Dard-e-Disco" is the strangest phrase to hit ears this season. Evokes plenty of the man, who from "Dard-e-jigar, Dard-e-kamar" (Amar, Akbar, Anthony) to "Dard-e-dil" (Karz), was quite the hypochondriac's heartthrob. That in a week where his own son was "presented" to the world (do people still do this kind of thing? quite the reason why you start to wish such movies would do badly. Sad, both their hype and my bias.)

Mellow and Green

Just watching Pakistan complete an impressively mature win over Australia in the World Twenty20, it struck me that I'm no longer routinely anti-Pakistani as I used to be as a kid. Back then, when it came to sports, I would vigorously root for a Pakistani loss. Such a venom sometimes got in the way of seeing the quality of the likes of greats Imran and Wasim Akram. Of course, Javed and his kind didn't help matters :-)

I remember being bitterly disappointed when England were bundled out in the finals to a rampaging Pakistan, who were so lucky to get to the finals. It seemed they had the kind of luck that India never ever seemed to get (and still don't!). Getting our noses rubbed in the scorching sands of the Sharjah desert meant that I didn't quite miss not having cable television those days!

Things have changed. I can watch Pakistan play sport and appreciate their good performances. It was often conjectured, especially in the immediate post-Kargil atmosphere, whether more India-Pak matches would in fact assuage tensions. I don't know about that, but I attribute my own mellowing down to a larger vein of downplaying the impact of such sporting outcomes on my own life. So occasionally the adrenalin pumps at a close match, but on the whole, a certain detachment has helped.

The first time I can remember actually appreciating a Pakistani sporting performance was in the 1994 Hockey World Cup, where the men in green, led by the legendary Shahbaz Ahmed took the crown. Chak De Pakistan, perhaps.

Bridge under troubled waters

Bridge under troubled waters

The Rama Setu issue has finally found its way on to the front pages, news headlines, and its own weekend debate episodes. For many weeks, one could see non sequiturs on several online news fora, where the comments would have been randomly hijacked on to the topic.

The same hordes of political spokesmen trotted out the same set of debating points. M.K.Gandhi's references to "Hey Ram" and "Ram Rajya" have been recalled. "Ram" is an integral part of India's psyche, we are told.

Surprisingly, for something that is an integral part of our psyche, we don't remember a Ram Rajya during the daily dregs of our governance. Cricket, in comparison, makes a higher rate of impact per day than the memory of Rama would. Not that poor cricket is to be blamed for the state of affairs.

So can I still ask a question on Rama under "mythology" rather than "history"? Does it matter if your icons existed or not? Can we, for instance, not follow the excellent examples of brave Harry Potter and the sharp Sherlock Holmes?

Come, write

Come write

Before the screening of Chak De India began, the preceding trailer (only one trailer - we want more trailers!) was that of Madhuri Dixit's "comeback" venture Aaja Nachle. I'm not much of a Nene fan and I leave the adulation to Hawaiian ornithologists¹. More interestingly though was that there were three names listed: the director (Anil Mehta), producer (Aditya Chopra), and finally the writer. Jaideep Sahni.

While proving that nothing succeeds like success, it's great to see writers make it on the frontlines. After Company, Bunty aur Babli, Khosla ka Ghosla, and now Chak De India, one can look forward to a film because the Dada lookalike is part of the mix. Make space on the top, Anurag Kashyap.

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1: Trivia bit: courtesy Landmark Quiz 2007, Pune.

The old days were better" argument was better in the olden days

"The old days were better" argument was better in the olden days

I overheard a conversation, the likes of which are very routine. Essentially, someone will crib about the (admittedly) atrocious nature of most film songs. Then they will introduce a comparison to a 'guzaraa huaa zamaanaa' (sometimes so ancient that even the Archaeological Survey of India will be scared to swear any affidavits on its vintage and existence). They will say something generically disparaging about "hallii cha kaaLaat", mainly based on the evidence of radio shows that play the "good old songs".

O' eavesdroppee: do you honestly expect the radio shows to play equally appalling songs from the past, especially if no one pays them to do so? Will not the best songs of a generation find repeated resonance, in minds and media, in future years? Do you think we shall still be listening to hara-kiri invitations in 2 years time, let alone after 25 years?

The point, in a less smart-ass way, is this: surely every period of film music had its share of great output mixed with the dumplings of fly-by-night-release-by-day operators who just wanted to have a song you could take a break to. I'm willing to bet the proportions would have been the same. I can present anecdotal evidence of bad lyrics ("appalam-chappalam") and surely we can dig up a few hum-miyaas from before.

We'll see whose right when I overhear your conversations again in 10 years time.

It seems there's even a law for this: Sturgeon's_law. (Link swept from India Uncut)

Scratch, scratch

Appreciation of art is so subjective that it boggles my mind when people can make one word assessments of anything that they have seen or heard.

Take fiction, for instance. When you like a piece of writing, say a short story, what aspects to it did you enjoy? Nikhil and I did a little exercise to take some of our favourite short stories and analyse what made them interesting. Most readers like short stories with a twist at the end. Some like the story to have a message of some kind, perhaps with a good dose of emotion. Stories with a clever and novel way of narration, which I couldn't foresee: I like these a lot.

When you go to places that are supposedly the repositories of great short fiction, you are also trying to educate yourself on what the pundits think to be excellent writing in this form. But in many cases, as with award-winning prose, you don't always appreciate what the fuss is all about.

Recently, I've begun to occasionally read stories from The New Yorker. The basic writing quality of the pieces are never in question. But sometimes, you're not so sure about the plot. Take Nawabdin Electrician, about a cheerful handyman who is attacked by a thief. The story seems abbreviated and hence unmemorable. However, Mr. Bones by Paul Theroux, is fairly engaging. Partly autobiographical, it is about a man who suddenly goes off-kilter because he's taking part in a minstrel show. Here again, the story is not of immense proportions, but the uneasy transformation of this repressed man is fascinating, even though brief.

Druid's out of potion

Ok, first of all, relax. Despite what the shrill news channels will have you believe, royalty has not decided to abdicate in favour of the sloth bears. So there's no need to "deconstruct the mind of Dravid", for the reasons are quite obvious.

As any clear-headed observer can tell, captaining India involves a lot more than playing cricket. Dravid is astute enough to see that two years in the saddle have been enough, and he seems of a nature sensitive enough to not have forgotten the inflammatory recriminations not-so long ago. As Siddhartha V. writes: "somewhere along the line, especially after Chappell's departure, Dravid probably realised he couldn't achieve what he set out to." Also, a diminishing output and a series where his captaincy was at times very lacklustre would have surely had him sealing the envelope on the resignation. It was best to relinquish and go back unfettered, to his primary skills as batsman and outstanding slip-catcher.

However, is this a "selfish decision", as some have called it? Not really - why have a captain who doesn't want to do it?

This brings the curtain down on a "cerebral" phase of Indian captaincy, which followed a much more extroverted "passion" phase. The spot, however, is likely to go to the third and (and despite being the youngest) oldest of the generation of 1974. I think he's going to take the job.

Since the next generation hasn't really thrown its hand up and claimed the moral right to lead, Sachin Tendulkar is necessarily going to be a stop-gap captain. No one can kid themselves that he will lead them into a new and glittering era. He can however help decide once and for all, the questions that have dogged the second half of his career. If the Class that was assembled in 1996 can safely and unitedly deliver Indian cricket to the future, they'd be remembered even more fondly.

As for Rahul Dravid, he's just a couple of years away from becoming India's best TV commentator. I have been awaiting this since the 1999 World Cup final.

Also read Rohit Brijnath's article on the topic.

Some for the road/Some for the bored

Some for the road/Some for the bored

As already mentioned, two free, open, cultured (ok, may be not) BC quizzes come up this Sunday in Pune. For those who did read the notice and are still on the fence, here are some movie questions from a recent quiz that I did. These will do nothing to sway your vote as aye or nay as regards the main quiz, but I'm just giving you something to do.

Here goes:

1. In the climax of Shaad Ali Sahgal’s recent debacle Jhoom Baraabar Jhoom, Abhishek Bachchan and Bobby Deol are on their way to see Preity Zinta. How is this scene trivially important?

2. The film "Pyaar Kiye Jaa" was a remake of a Tamil film by the same director and starred Shashi Kapoor, Kishore Kumar, and Mehmood in its cast. In the film, Mehmood is an aspiring film director who is launching his film with his miserly father’s (Om Prakash) money. What is the name of his film company?

3. She is Guru Dutt’s niece (and hence also related to Shyam Benegal). But just like Guru Dutt is incorrectly thought to hail from Bengal, partly due to his name and due to some of his Bengali-influenced work, people are confused with her origins too. During the shooting of the last film she was involved in, Mithun Chakraborty had been accused of indecent conduct. Name her.

Zero gets this right: Kalpana Lajmi is correct.